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q6tpo44Using the examples of wild turkeys and beetles, explain two benefits of forest fires for animals. v.1

q6tpo44Using the examples of wild turkeys and beetles, explain two benefits of forest fires for animals. v. 1
Currently, people have a lot of types of communication more than the past, since the development of technology. Many people can talk together from the difference place at the same time, and they can receive news or information faster. This essay agrees that it is a positive effect for everyone. Initially, the internet helps us to make friendship easier than before, by the application or website such as Facebook, Twitter, Line and Skype. Furthermore, it also matches each person who has a same preference to closely. For example, Twitter have the hashtag to find all posts that relate to a topic, if I want to see how other people think about my favourite Chiness series, I will search Chiness series title hashtag in this application. And when I like some post, I will send a direct message to writer of post and we will be friend even we have not been met yet. In addition, everyone can read or watch a real time news from everywhere, the changing of technology is a good thing for the international relationship. In the past, we had to wait for a newspaper to read the global news, but now we can search it on the website. For instance, in 2004, it was the tsunami and earthquake in Thailand, we found the most rate of death and lost of people. This natural disaster was reported on the aboard websites, then we had a lot of donations from other countries to help the victim. This happening led me know the massive benefit of the technology. In conclusion, the technology affects many relationship for a better side. Beside people can connect easier, the information can send from a corner of the world immediately.
Currently
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
types of communication more than the past, since the development of technology.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can talk together from the difference place at the same time, and they can receive news or information faster. This essay
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agrees
that it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect for everyone.

Initially
, the internet
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
friendship easier than
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
, by the application or website such as Facebook, Twitter, Line and Skype.
Furthermore
, it
also
matches each person who has a same preference
Did you mean "too"?
to
closely
.
For example
, Twitter
The singular proper name 'Twitter' must be used with a third-person or a past tense verb: "has", "had".
have
the hashtag to find all posts that relate to a topic, if I want to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
how other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about my
Possible spelling mistake. 'favourite' is British English.
favourite
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chiness
series, I will search
Possible spelling mistake found.
Chiness
series title hashtag in this application. And when I like
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
post, I will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
a direct message to writer of
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
post and
we will be friend even we have not
been met
yet
.

In addition
, everyone can read or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
watch
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "real time news".
a real time news
from everywhere, the changing of technology is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
thing for the international relationship. In the past, we had to wait for a newspaper to read the global news,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
we can search it on the website.
For instance
, in 2004, it was the tsunami and earthquake in Thailand, we found the most rate of death and lost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. This natural disaster
was reported
on the aboard websites, then we had
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
donations from other countries to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the victim. This happening led me know the massive benefit of the technology.

In conclusion
, the technology affects
Possible agreement error. The noun relationship seems to be countable; consider using: "many relationships".
many relationship
for a better side. Beside
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can connect easier, the information can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
send
from a corner of the world immediately.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay q6tpo44Using the examples of wild turkeys and beetles, explain two benefits of forest fires for animals. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
286 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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