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TPO 44 - Question 3Create Student Committee to Decide Funding for Student OrganizationsI think students should be in charge of deciding which student organizations (for example, the jazz band or the hiking club) receive money from the university. Students v.1

TPO 44 - Question 3Create Student Committee to Decide Funding for Student OrganizationsI think students should be in charge of deciding which student organizations (for example, the jazz band or the hiking club) receive money from the university. Students v. 1
Art is a great form of communication and has become is an essential part of human civilization. It is argued by some that the artists need complete freedom of expression to develop innovative ideas, whereas, others believed that the artists' freedom should be restricted. I partially agree with this statement, artists should be given enough freedom of expression, but total freedom is not required. Artists should have freedom to express their ideas without thinking of consequences. If artist have freedom of expression, more and more people attract towards arts that will enrich our culture and civilization. Moreover, some artists highlight social issues and increase social awareness among the masses. Many of them stand for social justice. For Instance, after the rape case of 8-year-old girl in India, many people expressed their anger through songs, these songs became viral on social media. Thus, its aroused feelings many people and the authorities were forced to take immediate action against criminals. On the other hand, artwork should not have any destructive impact on society. There are many incidents where artwork such as painting created tension and violence. For instance, M F Hussain's painting of nude Goddesses created chaos among Hindu people. In addition, objectifying women in various art works may have a negative influence on children and teenagers. They may see women to mere objects of lust and did not respect them. In other words, creating negative emotions through the arts can increase crime, violence and can lead to many problems. To conclude, the artist should have freedom of expression of creativity, but their work should be censored. So, the artwork does not have any negative effect on society.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Art
is a great form of communication and has become is an essential part of human civilization. It
is argued
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
need complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
to develop innovative
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, whereas, others believed that the artists'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
should
be restricted
. I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this statement,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
total
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
is not required.

Artists should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
to express their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
without thinking of consequences. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
, more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
attract towards
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
that will enrich our culture and civilization.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artists
highlight
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
issues and increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
awareness among the masses.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
of them stand for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
justice.
For Instance
, after the rape case of 8-year-
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
girl in India,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
expressed their anger through songs, these songs became viral on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
media.
Thus
, its aroused feelings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the authorities
were forced
to take immediate action against criminals.

On the other hand
, artwork should not have any destructive impact on society. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
incidents where artwork such as painting created tension and violence.
For instance
, M F Hussain's painting of nude Goddesses created chaos among Hindu
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
In addition
, objectifying women in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
works may have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
influence on children and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
. They may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
women to mere objects of lust and did not respect them.
In other words
, creating
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
emotions through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
can increase crime, violence and can lead to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
problems.

To conclude
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
artist
should have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
freedom
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
expression
of creativity,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
their work should
be censored
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
, the artwork does not have any
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effect on society.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay TPO 44 - Question 3Create Student Committee to Decide Funding for Student OrganizationsI think students should be in charge of deciding which student organizations (for example, the jazz band or the hiking club) receive money from the university. Students v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
276 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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