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TPO 43 - Question 3University Makes Changes to Orientation ProgramMadison University is making a change to the orientation program for first-year students. In the past, as part of orientation, new, incoming students could go on a two-day hiking and campin v.1

TPO 43 - Question 3University Makes Changes to Orientation ProgramMadison University is making a change to the orientation program for first-year students. In the past, as part of orientation, new, incoming students could go on a two-day hiking and campin v. 1
The youths are the future of any country. Hence, it is pertinent that they spend greatly on them. I emphatically agree to this statement because for a country to progress the youth's need to experience quality education and reduces crime rates. Although, peoples opinions are different. On the one hand, when a country invests in their youth's education, it ensures progression. There comes a time in every nation when the older generation hands over to the new. If per adventure, the youths are not vested with proper education, then, it poses a big problem. This will pose numerous challenges to the growth of the nation. Such challenges include, graduating quack professionals from various courses. For example, a study in 1970, conducted at the University of Liverpool, showed that, third world countries who neglected investing in youths suffered the repercussion in years to come. Secondly, when these youth is heavily invested in, the population of people who engage in crime that are youths reduces. By this, they become gainfully engaged in an activity. To clarify further, today, a report shows that the number of youths who engage in crime in any country outweighs the old ones. On the other hand, investing in the youth neither guarantees the country's advancement nor reduce crime. A youth who was giving proper home upbringing, whether he went to school or not, can still become great tomorrow. For example, numerous school dropouts today are world's billionaires. Education does not guarantee a country's progress. In conclusion, while people vary in their opinion, I believe that when a country invests in its youth, their future is guaranteed.
The youths are the future of any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Hence
, it is pertinent that they spend
greatly
on them. I
emphatically
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to this statement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
to progress the youth's need to experience quality
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
rates.
“Although” at the beginning of a sentence usually requires a 2nd clause. Maybe a comma, question or exclamation mark is missing, or the sentence is incomplete and should be joined with the following sentence.
Although
, peoples opinions are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
.

On the one hand, when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
invests in their youth's
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, it ensures progression. There
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
a time in every nation when the older generation hands over to the new. If per adventure, the youths are not vested with proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
, then, it poses a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
problem. This will pose numerous challenges to the growth of the nation. Such challenges include, graduating quack professionals from various courses.
For example
, a study in 1970, conducted at the University of Liverpool,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that, third world
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
neglected investing in youths suffered the repercussion in years to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
.
Secondly
, when these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
is
heavily
invested in, the population of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
that are youths
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduces
. By this, they become
gainfully
engaged in an activity. To clarify
further
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, a report
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that the number of youths
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
engage in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
in any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
outweighs the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
ones.

On the other hand
, investing in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
neither guarantees the country's advancement nor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
crime
. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
was giving proper home upbringing, whether he went to school or not, can
still
become great tomorrow.
For example
, numerous school dropouts
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
are world's billionaires.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Education
does not guarantee a country's progress.

In conclusion
, while
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
vary in their opinion, I believe that when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
invests in its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
youth
, their future
is guaranteed
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay TPO 43 - Question 3University Makes Changes to Orientation ProgramMadison University is making a change to the orientation program for first-year students. In the past, as part of orientation, new, incoming students could go on a two-day hiking and campin v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
269 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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