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TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th v.2

TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th v. 2
A controversial debate which is often raised about what things parents should do with children in free time. Some groups of parents hold the view that they should play or exercise with them to make them stronger. However, the other groups may take an opposite point and believe that they spend more time on education. From my vantage point, I concur with the latter groups and believe that children with good education can meet the demand of this competitive world. In the following paragraph, I will elaborate on my viewpoint through three major reasons. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that parents who spend time teaching their children can improve their knowledge. Knowledge are the arms which we can provide to our children. Without such a skill, children cannot compete with others in this competitive world. A vivid example can be given to shed light on what was elaborated above is the skills that children learn when parents educate them. They become motivated, skilled, and able to organize their work in a proper manner. Thus, children do not only gain knowledge, but also good planners. The second reason which deserves some words here is that educated children instead of playing with them save them time. It is true that exercising with children make them healthier. However, children can exercise by themselves at school. Furthermore, spending more time on educating children can shorten the time they spend studying and Ultimately enhance their self confidence, this will help them to thrive in future. Although the aforementioned reasons are the first ones which cross the mind at a glance, they are by no means the only reasons available. In fact, there is another subtle point which must be born in mind. The noteworthy refreshing intelligible statistics, revealed by a recent research conducted on parents who prioritize educating children than playing with them, the study revealed that children where able to accomplish their objectives confidently. The study was done among 120 parents from different organisation to avoid any bias. To wrap up, contemplating all aforementioned reasons, one soon realizes that with the limited time available to spend with children, It is better to make use of this time in education because it is the best way to meet children' s aspirations.
A controversial debate which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
raised about what things
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
should do with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
groups of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
hold the view that they should play or exercise with them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them stronger.
However
, the other groups may take an opposite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
and believe that they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on education. From my vantage
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
, I concur with the latter groups and believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
education can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the demand of this competitive world. In the following paragraph, I will elaborate on my viewpoint through three major reasons.

The
first
exquisite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
to
be mentioned
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
teaching their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their knowledge. Knowledge
Consider using third-person verb forms for singular and mass nouns: "is".
are
the arms which we can provide to our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Without such a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
cannot compete with others in this competitive world. A vivid example can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to shed light on what
was elaborated
above is the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
learn when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
educate them. They become motivated, skilled, and able to organize their work
Consider replacing "in a proper manner" with the adverb for "proper"; e.g., "in a hasty manner" with "hastily".
in a proper manner
.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
gain knowledge,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
planners.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
which deserves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
words here is that educated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
instead
of playing with them save them
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. It is true that exercising with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them healthier.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can exercise by themselves at school.
Furthermore
, spending more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
on educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
can shorten the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
studying and
Ultimately
enhance their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
self confidence
, this will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to thrive
Did you mean: "in the future"?
in future
.

Although the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
are the
first
ones which cross the mind at a glance, they are by no means the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
available. In fact, there is another subtle
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
point
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be born
in mind. The noteworthy refreshing intelligible statistics, revealed by a recent research conducted on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
who prioritize educating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than playing with them, the study revealed that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
where able to accomplish their objectives
confidently
. The study
was done
among 120
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
Possible spelling mistake. 'organisation' is British English.
organisation
to avoid any bias.

To wrap up, contemplating all aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
, one
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
realizes that with the limited
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
available to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spend
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, It is better to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
in education
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is the best way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
Possible spelling mistake found.
children&
#039; s aspirations.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
41Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-44 - Independent Writing Task Some people believe that when busy parents do not have a lot of time to spend with their children, the best use of that time is to have fun playing games or sports. Others believe that it is best to use that time doing th v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
379 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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