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whether or not governments must take improving internet access more weighty than improving public transportation v.2

whether or not governments must take improving internet access more weighty than improving public transportation v. 2
In this modern life, it is crystal clear that governments are faced with a lot of expense in different realms, so they must prioritize all of their expenses and divide their budgets. One of the heated controversies all around the world is that whether or not governments must take improving internet access more weighty than improving public transportation. In this regard, individuals carry different opinions. I, personally, subscribe to the idea that nowadays, internet access is more important than public transportation; therefore, governments must consider the bigger budget for improving internet access. The internet is the primary need of a country as far as its flourishing is concerned. They can be up-to-the-minute and also settlements can do productive activities. To begin with, as we know, in this modernized life, most of the people rely on the internet to their tasks. To clarifying, all students must do research throughout the internet, or many companies do most portions of their works on the internet. With this line of thought, accessibility to the high-speed internet is the prime demand of modern human beings. On the other hand, a society can flourish via the great efforts of the university students and skillful employees, for example, they can solve problems of the society with creating a new technology or equipment. Considering all of this, governments have not to take the importance of internet access lightly. They must provide all inhabits with good and reliable internet access. An example can shed light on this idea. I used to work in a big researching group in our country. We find new materials and achievement via the internet to solve the problem of three big companies. For a few months, we did not have high-speed internet, subsequently, we were not able to respond to companies’ requests immediately. After a while, all relevant organs met a lot of problems. In fact, it acts as a chain and impacted a lot of companies and people. We can understand how internet access and improving it is important. Secondly, in this unpredictable world with a lot of occurrence around the world, all governments need to have a good attainability to the internet to keep themselves with the trend race of the world. I mean, nowadays, not only are there a lot of important news all around the world that we need to know; but also there are a lot of new inventions and technologies that need a great accessibility to the internet to apply them in our country. For instance, I remember that when I was a master degree student, we worked on a big project cooperating with a Chinese university. They sent us a piece of priceless laboratory equipment, unfortunately, since our country has not spent enough money to improve the internet access, we could not run that equipment. It was a big lost of the chance to continue such a beyond the price project and be in the same rate of progress with foreign countries. In summary, with all this taken into account, I do believe that governments have to consider the bigger fund for improving the internet than improving public transportation.
In this modern life, it is crystal
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
are faced
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of expense in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
realms,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prioritize all of their expenses and divide their budgets. One of the heated controversies all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
is that
Consider shortening this phrase to just "whether". It is correct though if you mean 'regardless of whether'.
whether or not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
take
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
more weighty than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
public transportation. In this regard, individuals carry
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinions. I,
personally
, subscribe to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that nowadays, internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than public transportation;
therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
consider the bigger budget for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
. The internet is the primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
as far as its flourishing
is concerned
. They can be up-to-the-minute and
also
settlements can do productive activities.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, as we know, in this modernized life, most of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
rely on the internet to their tasks. To clarifying, all students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do research throughout the internet, or
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
do most portions of their works on the internet. With this line of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
, accessibility to the high-speed internet is the prime demand of modern human beings.
On the other hand
, a society can flourish via the great efforts of the university students and skillful employees,
for example
, they can solve problems of the society with creating a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
technology or equipment. Considering all of this,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have not to take the importance of internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
lightly
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide all inhabits with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
and reliable internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
. An example can shed light on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
to work in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
researching group in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. We find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
materials and achievement via the internet to solve the problem of three
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
. For a few months, we did not have high-speed internet,
subsequently
, we were not able to respond to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies’
requests immediately. After a while, all relevant organs met a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of problems. In fact, it acts as a chain and impacted a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
. We can understand how internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
.

Secondly
, in this unpredictable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
with a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of occurrence around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
, all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
attainability to the internet to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves with the trend race of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
. I mean, nowadays, not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
are there a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
news
all around the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
world
that we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to know;
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
there are a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
lot
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
inventions and technologies that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a great accessibility to the internet to apply them in our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
For instance
, I remember that when I was a master degree student, we worked on a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
project cooperating with a Chinese university. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sent
us a piece of priceless laboratory equipment, unfortunately, since our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
has not spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the internet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
access
, we could not run that equipment. It was a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
lost of the chance to continue such a beyond the price project and be in the same rate of progress with foreign countries.

In summary, with all this taken into account, I do believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
consider the bigger fund for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
the internet than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
improving
public transportation.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
50Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay whether or not governments must take improving internet access more weighty than improving public transportation v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
522 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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