Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

TPO 36-Independent- For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities. v.1

TPO 36-Independent- For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities. v. 1
The tourism industry has become prominent since the last few decades as it has been contributing majorly in boosting the economies all over the world. A sudden boom in international travellers could lead to tensions and conflicts among people due to their dissimilar cultural backgrounds. However, it also helps in making a better understanding of traditions and customs of other countries and the following essay will discuss about it. Soaring incomes have increased affordability of the folks and now, they no longer hesitate to spend their money on leisure activities. Travelling is one such activity which keeps us away from noisy lives of cities with the relaxation of minds. Nowadays, travellers visit different countries in order to explore their culture and traditions. This could improve relations between foreigners and the local people as they try to understand the problems of each other. Moreover, different countries have distinct social values and this could never be realized without witnessing them. Sometimes people from abroad like the local traditions so much that they adopt them. For example, one could easily see a blonde woman wearing Indian costumes during her journey to India. Exploring diverse nations with odd cultures offer tourists an opportunity to observe and perceive the thinking and beliefs of the residing population. Nonetheless, it also creates misunderstandings and troubles in building connections, mainly occurred due to non-identical languages and distinct pasts. As a consequence, it becomes difficult for inhabiting people to understand the needs of the visitors. But, these issues can be resolved by carrying out a prior study about antiquity, language and traditional beliefs of the visiting countries. In conclusion, I would say that I do not completely agree with the statement that vacationing abroad cause conflicts and disagreement because these complications can be managed by giving respect to the history and religious sentiments of the residents of the country.
The tourism industry has become prominent since the last few decades as it has been contributing
majorly
in boosting the economies all over the world. A sudden boom in international
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
could lead to tensions and conflicts among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
due to their dissimilar cultural backgrounds.
However
, it
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
in making a better understanding of traditions and customs of other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
and the following essay will
Did you mean simply "discuss it"? You do not need the word "about" here.
discuss about it
.

Soaring incomes have increased affordability of the folks and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
, they no longer hesitate to spend their money on leisure activities. Travelling is one such activity which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
us away from noisy
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
of cities with the relaxation of minds. Nowadays,
Possible spelling mistake found.
travellers
visit
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in order to explore their culture and traditions. This could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
relations between foreigners and the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
as they try to understand the problems of each other.
Moreover
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
have distinct social values and this could never
be realized
without witnessing them.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from abroad like the local traditions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much that they adopt them.
For example
, one could
easily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
a blonde woman wearing Indian costumes during her journey to India.

Exploring diverse nations with odd cultures offer tourists an opportunity to observe and perceive the thinking and beliefs of the residing population. Nonetheless, it
also
creates misunderstandings and troubles in building connections,
mainly
occurred due to non-identical languages and distinct pasts. As a consequence, it becomes difficult for inhabiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to understand the needs of the visitors.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
, these issues can
be resolved
by carrying out a prior study about antiquity, language and traditional beliefs of the visiting countries.

In conclusion
, I would say that I do not completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement that vacationing abroad cause conflicts and disagreement
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these complications can
be managed
by giving respect to the history and religious sentiments of the residents of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 36-Independent- For the successful development of a country, it is more important for a government to spend money on the education of very young children (five to ten years old) than to spend money on universities. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
310 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts