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University Announces Energy-Saving PlanOut of concern for the environment, the university has announced an effort to reduce energy consumption. The energy saving measures will start at the library. One measure involves the library’s inside lighting: new v.1

University Announces Energy-Saving PlanOut of concern for the environment, the university has announced an effort to reduce energy consumption. The energy saving measures will start at the library. One measure involves the library’s inside lighting: new v. 1
People believe that parents should persuade their children to participate in structured group tasks as a leisure activity while others thinks that it is crucial that children should develop the fundamental ability to keep themselves busy. In my opinion, children should not participate in arranged group schemes, although this will ensure best utilization of time, however, if they decide on their own, they will learn the essential skills of time management. On the one hand, people think parents should tell children to do the planned activities to make best use of their free time. This is to say that by taking part in well thought out tasks they will learn the art of time utilisation. This skill will make them disciplined in the life and enhance their career prospects. For example, children those obey discipline can cope up with every challenge with ease as compared to other people. On the other hand, people believe that children those are independent in selection of leisure activities, the learn time management ability. This is because they have a choice in deciding what to do while being free and use their time for activities of their interest. By managing their spare time and studies, they master the skill of effective time management. This capability will help children in their future jobs. For instance, people those are best in time management are more successful in their jobs and businesses. To conclude, it is debatable that whether parents should tell children what to do in free time or they should be free to decide on their own. By involving in group activities, children learn how to utilise time, but in my opinion they should be allowed to decide themselves because this will provide them critical skill of time management.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
believe that parents should persuade their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to participate in structured group tasks as a leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
while others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thinks
that it is crucial that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should develop the fundamental ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
themselves busy. In my opinion,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should not participate in arranged group schemes, although this will
A determiner is probably missing here: "ensure the best".
ensure best
utilization of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
however
, if they decide on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
, they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the essential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
management.

On the one hand,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to do the planned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
A determiner is probably missing here: "make the best".
make best
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
. This is to say that by taking part in well
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
out tasks they will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
the art of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
Do not mix variants of the same word ('utilisation' and 'utilization') within a single text.
utilisation
. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
them disciplined in the life and enhance their career prospects.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
those obey discipline can cope up with every challenge with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ease
as compared to other
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
those are independent in selection of leisure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
ability. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have a choice in deciding what to do while being
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
of their interest. By managing their spare
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and studies, they master the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of effective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
. This capability will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
in their future jobs.
For instance
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
those are best in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
are more successful in their jobs and businesses.

To conclude
, it is debatable that whether parents should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tell
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
what to do in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
time or
they should be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
free
to decide on their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
. By involving in group
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learn
how to
Possible spelling mistake. 'utilise' is British English.
utilise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in my opinion they should be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
to decide themselves
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
this will provide them critical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skill
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
management
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
You can never understand one language until you understand at least two.
Geoffrey Willans

IELTS essay University Announces Energy-Saving PlanOut of concern for the environment, the university has announced an effort to reduce energy consumption. The energy saving measures will start at the library. One measure involves the library’s inside lighting: new v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
293 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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