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TPO 33 - Question 2Do you think that eating healthy food is easier or more difficult today than it was 40 or 50 years ago? Use examples and details to support your answer. v.1

TPO 33 - Question 2Do you think that eating healthy food is easier or more difficult today than it was 40 or 50 years ago? Use examples and details to support your answer. v. 1
The exponential growth of supermarkets and big businesses harms small ones. Consequently, many believe that the growing number of market chains can be the demise of local communities. While, to some extent, it could be true. I think that the future of small businesses does not rely solemnly on that facture. It is understandable to believe that big businesses can be a threat to local ones because of the unequal resources. These businesses have at their disposal the best technologies and materials that can help provide the customer with good quality and fast service. Trader Joe’s, for example, is one of the biggest supermarkets in America and it is well-known for the quality of its services. Another reason why big businesses can pose a threat to small ones is that people do not have much time for shopping nowadays and they tend to prefer to shop from one place without the need to go to several shops. And, Generally, supermarkets do have everything people can need in their daily lives. That being said, the survival of small businesses depends on other factors. People in small communities prefer local stores because these are close to them. And they do not have to drive far to buy what they need. But, mostly, they like to shop at their local shops because of the sentimental and historic values of these shops. Whether they have known the shop keeper all their life or the shop itself has a historic value in the community, people will always have a soft spot in their hearts for these small shops and the will continue to shop there. In conclusion, I strongly believe that the fate of small businesses is not linked directly to the growth of big supermarkets only. And, local communities will not be threatened by this evolution.
The exponential growth of supermarkets and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
harms
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
.
Consequently
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
believe that the growing number of market chains can be the demise of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
. While, to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
extent, it could be true. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the future of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
does not rely
solemnly
on that facture.

It is understandable to believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
can be a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the unequal resources. These
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
have at their disposal the best technologies and materials that can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
provide the customer with
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
quality and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
service. Trader Joe’s,
for example
, is one of the biggest supermarkets in America and it is well-known for the quality of its services. Another reason why
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
can pose a threat to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ones
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
do not have much time for shopping
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nowadays and
they tend to prefer to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
from one place without the need to go to several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. And,
Generally
, supermarkets do have everything
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can need in their daily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

That
being said
, the survival of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
depends on other factors.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
prefer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
stores
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
these are close to them. And they do not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
drive far to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
what they need.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
,
mostly
, they like to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
at their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the sentimental and historic values of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
. Whether they have known the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
keeper all their life or the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
itself has a historic value in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
community
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will always have a soft spot in their hearts for these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shops
and
Did you mean "they", "that" or "there"?
the
will continue to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
shop
there.

In conclusion
, I
strongly
believe that the fate of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
small
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
businesses
is not linked
directly
to the growth of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
big
supermarkets
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
. And,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communities
will not
be threatened
by this evolution.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 33 - Question 2Do you think that eating healthy food is easier or more difficult today than it was 40 or 50 years ago? Use examples and details to support your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
302 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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