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Do you agree or disagree with the following statement It s easier for parents to raise children than 50 years ago Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.2

It s easier for parents to raise children than 50 years ago Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2
Raising children require parents to make many efforts. Modern children-raising is become increasingly attach importance to well-rounded development of children. Some people think it is easier for parents to raise children than 50 years ago. However, from my perspective, I disagree with the statement. Firstly, raising children nowadays need a growing number of material substances to be given than 50 years ago, which indicates raising children is more difficult. Modern children-raising is become increasingly attach importance to well-rounded development of children. Some parents want their children to stand out in the future, so they cost much on children’s interest cultivation. For example, my sister’s salary is 8 thousand Yuan per month. But my sister spends 50 thousand Yuan every year on children’s interest classes such as playing the piano, calligraphy, and dancing, which is a big strain on my sister. However, in modern parents’ eyes, more skills mean more competitiveness in the world. They do not want their children lay behind, since other parents do the same. So, raising children now is also a race of money, sometimes it can also cause stress on parents. But in 50 years ago there was no such trend that parents only need to feed their children, which was not that difficult. Furthermore, raising children nowadays need more time spent in accompanying with children, which implies difficulty of raising children. Such as I mentioned above, if their children go to interest class, parents need to pick up their children. Commuting to the class venue is time- consuming. Besides, modern education always involves communication among parents and teachers. Parents have to report their children’s behavior at home every day. They have to supervise their children complete homework and answer their questions. It is annoying for parents sometimes since parents have their own work. On the contrary, in 50 years ago, there was no need to spend much time accompanying children. The children might have no homework, not mention to interest class. Finally, raising children require parents spend more energy on their children than 50 years ago. To be more concrete, raising children needs more attention on children’s mentality. There are many children who are diagnosed with mental problems because of fierce competition. Children have too much stress to manage their own mood or brain. Sometimes they tend to be solitude, do not want to contact with others; sometimes they express their resistance to study; sometimes they feel depression and do not know how to get rid of it. This need parents, who are most intimate with children to observe and find out these mental problems. But in 50 years ago, children did not have such stress and it was likely they did not need much observation from parents. In conclusion, today’s children raising need more money, time and energy on children than in 50 years ago, which illustrate raising children is more difficult than 50 years ago rather than easier.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
efforts.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
children-raising
is become
increasingly
attach importance to well-rounded development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
it is easier for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
to raise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than 50 years ago.
However
, from my perspective, I disagree with the statement.

Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
a growing number of material substances to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
than 50 years ago, which indicates
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is more difficult.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Modern
children-raising
is become
increasingly
attach importance to well-rounded development of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to stand out in the future,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
they cost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
cultivation.
For example
, my sister’s salary is 8 thousand Yuan per month.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
my sister spends 50 thousand Yuan every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
classes such as playing the piano, calligraphy, and dancing, which is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
strain on my sister.
However
, in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents’
eyes, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
mean more competitiveness in the world. They do not want their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
lay behind, since other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
do the same.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
is
also
a race of money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
it can
also
cause
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 50 years ago there was no such trend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to feed their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which was not that difficult.

Furthermore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
nowadays
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spent in
The usual collocation for "accompany" is "by," not "with." It is better to say this: "accompanying by".
accompanying with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
, which implies difficulty of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Such as I mentioned above, if their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to pick up their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. Commuting to the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
venue is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time-
consuming.
Besides
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
modern
education always involves communication among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and teachers.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Parents
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
report their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
behavior at home every day. They
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
supervise their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
complete homework and answer their questions. It is annoying for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
have their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
work.
On the contrary
, in 50 years ago, there was no
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to spend
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
accompanying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
might have no homework, not mention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
interest
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.

Finally
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
require
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
spend more energy on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than 50 years ago. To be more concrete,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
needs
more attention on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children’s
mentality. There are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
who
are diagnosed
with mental problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of fierce competition.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Children
have too
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
to manage their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
mood or brain.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Sometimes
they tend to be solitude, do not want to contact with others;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
they express their resistance to study;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sometimes
they feel depression and do not know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
rid of it. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, who are most intimate with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to observe and find out these mental problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
in 50 years ago,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
did not have such
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stress
and it was likely they did not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
much
observation from parents.

In conclusion
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
more money,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
and energy on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
than in 50 years ago, which illustrate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
raising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
is more difficult than 50 years ago
rather
than easier.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
87Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes

IELTS essay It s easier for parents to raise children than 50 years ago Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
485 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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