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1820 describe a place that has a special meaning to you. you should saywhat kind of place it is and where it iswhat it looks like what sounds you associate with itand explain why you particularly like the place. v.1

1820 describe a place that has a special meaning to you. you should saywhat kind of place it is and where it iswhat it looks like what sounds you associate with itand explain why you particularly like the place. v. 1
With the advent of technology, a greater preference is given to scientific subjects rather than the history which is considered as of less importance than studying physics and computer science. Currently, most schools offer courses related to computer programming and this trend is followed all over the world. However, In my view, a balance between skill and history is required as it is a significant subject which should not be pushed aside: it offers greater insights into the mistakes made by humans in the past and helps to discover today's sociology-political scenario within society as a result of past events. Some protagonists opine that, a look into the history renders us the power to make a better future. Humans have made grave mistakes in the past which needs to be taught to the young children so that they do not repeat the similar actions; this would allow us to build a better society which has learned from its past failures. One of the best examples could be the world war 2 where more than 50 million people lost their lives; people have learned from this which has allowed us to prevent a large scale war up-until now. Therefore, past should be made part of the school curriculum, but it should not be imposed on everyone rather it should be made available as a choice. Technology is the backbone of the global economy of the 21st century. More than two-third of Indian economy relies on manufacturing and this sector is continuously growing, a significant number of employees are needed in this field. Thereby, schools are encouraging students to take education which has encouraged them, and the workforce entering in the field are securing a high paying job. Moreover, it has become a trend among parents to push their children towards scientific subjects more than traditional courses. Despite, a cluster of educational institutes pushing for scientific subjects, I believe, it is injustice to learners who wants to be a painter or historian. Every course has its own benefits: therefore, it should be left to the students and they should decide their subjects. As per the study of Psychological Research and Study of India, children who chose their own study course are found to be more successful and perform better in life than those who are imposed with subjects they do not even like to study. To conclude, it cannot be denied that technique and technology is shaping the future of mankind, but past also has a also a role to play. Schools should not prioritize subjects rather it should be the learners who must be given freedom to learn what they want: this is what is going to the shape a student's life.
With the advent of technology, a greater preference is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
to scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
than the history which
is considered
as of less importance than studying physics and computer science.
Currently
, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
offer courses related to computer programming and this trend
is followed
all over the world.
However
, In my view, a balance between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skill
and history
is required
as it is a significant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subject
which should not
be pushed
aside: it offers greater insights into the mistakes made by humans in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
to discover
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
's sociology-political scenario within society
as a result
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
events
.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
protagonists opine that, a look into the history renders us the power to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a better future. Humans have made grave mistakes in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
which needs to
be taught
to the young children
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they do not repeat the similar actions; this would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
us to build a better society which has learned from its
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
failures. One of the best examples could be the
Capitalize specific historic events, episodes, and eras.
world war 2
where more than 50 million
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
lost their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
;
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
have learned from this which has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
allowed
us to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
a large scale war up-until
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
should
be made
part of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
curriculum,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it should not
be imposed
on everyone
rather
it should
be made
available as a choice.

Technology is the backbone of the global economy of the 21st century. More than two-third of Indian economy relies on manufacturing and this sector is
continuously
growing, a significant number of employees
are needed
in this field. Thereby,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
are encouraging students to take education which has encouraged them, and the workforce
There isn't usually a preposition after "entering". Did you mean "entering the field"?
entering in the field
are securing a high paying job.
Moreover
, it has become a trend among parents to push their children towards scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
more than traditional courses.

Despite, a cluster of educational institutes pushing for scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
, I believe, it is injustice to learners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
Did you mean "want"? Alternatively, check whether the singular of 'learners' should be used.
wants
to be a painter or historian. Every course has its
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
benefits:
therefore
, it should be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
left
to the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
students and
they should decide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
. As per the study of Psychological Research and Study of India, children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
chose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
study course
are found
to be more successful and perform better in life than those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
are imposed
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
they do not even like to study.

To conclude
, it cannot
be denied
that technique and technology is shaping the future of mankind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
past
also
has
Use "an" instead of 'a' if the following word starts with a vowel sound, e.g. 'an article', 'an hour'
a
also
a role to play.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Schools
should not prioritize
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
subjects
rather
it should be the learners
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
freedom to learn what they want: this is what is going to the shape a student's life.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
With languages, you are at home anywhere.
Edward De Waal

IELTS essay 1820 describe a place that has a special meaning to you. you should saywhat kind of place it is and where it iswhat it looks like what sounds you associate with itand explain why you particularly like the place. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
451 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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