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TPO 32 - Question 4Explain how the example from the professor’s lecture illustrates the choice-supportive bias. v.1

TPO 32 - Question 4Explain how the example from the professor’s lecture illustrates the choice-supportive bias. v. 1
A LARGE AMOUNT OF INDIVIDUALS ARE GETTING OBESE BY THE DAY, AND MANY BELIEVE IT CAN BE PUT TO A STOP BY INCREMENT IN FOOD PRICES, I TOTALLY AGREE WITH THIS BECAUSE, IT WOULD LEAD TO INACCESSIBILITY AND ULTIMATELY REDUCING ITS DEPENCY. IN A SOCIETY WHERE THERE ARE LOTS OF FAST FOODS EASILY ACCESIBLE BY EVERYONE WITH LITTLE AMOUNTS, THERE IS USUALLY A HIGH RATE OF PEOPLE DEPENDING ON THIS FOOD DAY BY DAY. SUPPOSEDLY, TO MAKE THEIR LIVES BETTER. THEY PATRONISE THIS VENDORS EXPEDITIOUSLY. THEREFORE, LEADING TO CONTINOUS INCREASE IN THEIR BODY MASS. HENCE, THINGS ARE KNOWN TO BE ABUSED WHEN THEY ARE IN ABUNDANCE. THAT IS TO SAY THAT, HUMANS DEPEND ON SOME THINGS WHEN THERE ARE NO LIMITS TO GETTING THEM. ADMITTEDLY, IF THERE IS A SUDDEN INFLATION IN PRICES OF THIS COMMODITIES IT WOULD LOWER CONSUMPTION RATES AND THIS CAN ENCOURAGE PEOPLE TURN TO HEALTHIER OPTIONS LIKE HOME COOKED MEALS. ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER IS, SOME FOLKS ARE ADDICTED TO FAST FOODS, AND MUST WORK HARDER TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD, HOWEVER LOSING SOME WEIGHT AS A RESULT. THIS IS KNOWN TO BE THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHOD OF ALLEVIATING OBESITY. IN FACT, NAPOLEON HILL A FAMOUS NUTRITIONIST IN THE 80'S EXPERIMENTED WITH SOME MAIDENS THAT LIKENED THEIR FATTNESS WITH DAIRY PRODUCT, THIS MAIDENS WHERE COAXED TO MILK THIS FARM ANIMALS THEMSELVES, AFTER SOME FEW DAYS DOING SUCH STRENOUS JOBS THEY HOWEVER, DEVELOPED A PHOBIA FOR MILK. IN ADDITION, INCREASING THE PRICES OF QUICK ALREADY MADE MEALS WOULD ENCOURAGE PEOPLE BUY INORGANIC GROCERIES WHICH IS A CHEAPER OPTION. BECAUSE, ITS USUALLY FRESHLY CULTIVATED, WITHOUT ANY ADDED PRESERVATIVES. IN CONCLUSION, THE RAISING OF FOOD PRICES WOULD GO A LONG WAY TO CONTROL OVERWEIGHT BY ENCOURAGING PEOPLE TO GO FOR OTHER SAFER ALTERNATIVES LIKE NON-ORGANIC FOODS, CHEAPER GROCERIES OR OVER WORKING TO BE ABLE TO PAY FOR FAST FOODS DESPITE THE COST, THUS EXERCISING IN THE PROCESS.
A LARGE AMOUNT OF INDIVIDUALS
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "is"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'ARE' is not always incorrect.)
ARE
GETTING OBESE BY THE DAY, AND
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
MANY
BELIEVE IT CAN
BE PUT
TO A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
STOP
BY INCREMENT IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRICES
, I
TOTALLY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
AGREE
WITH THIS
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
, IT WOULD LEAD TO INACCESSIBILITY AND
ULTIMATELY
REDUCING ITS
Possible spelling mistake found.
DEPENCY
.

IN A SOCIETY WHERE THERE ARE LOTS OF
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOODS
EASILY
Possible spelling mistake found.
ACCESIBLE
BY EVERYONE WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
LITTLE
AMOUNTS, THERE IS
USUALLY
A HIGH RATE OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
DEPENDING ON THIS
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
DAY BY DAY.
SUPPOSEDLY
, TO
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MAKE
THEIR
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
LIVES
BETTER. THEY
Possible spelling mistake. 'PATRONISE' is British English.
PATRONISE
Did you mean "these"?
THIS
VENDORS
EXPEDITIOUSLY
.
THEREFORE
, LEADING TO
Possible spelling mistake found.
CONTINOUS
INCREASE IN THEIR BODY MASS.
HENCE
, THINGS
ARE KNOWN
TO
BE ABUSED
WHEN THEY ARE IN ABUNDANCE.
THAT IS
TO SAY THAT, HUMANS DEPEND ON
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
THINGS WHEN THERE ARE NO LIMITS TO GETTING THEM.
ADMITTEDLY
, IF THERE IS A SUDDEN INFLATION IN
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRICES
OF
Did you mean "these"?
THIS
COMMODITIES IT WOULD LOWER CONSUMPTION RATES AND THIS CAN ENCOURAGE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TURN TO HEALTHIER OPTIONS LIKE HOME COOKED MEALS.

ANOTHER POINT TO CONSIDER IS,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
FOLKS
ARE ADDICTED
TO
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOODS
, AND
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
MUST
WORK HARDER TO BE ABLE TO AFFORD,
HOWEVER
LOSING
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
WEIGHT
AS A RESULT
. THIS
IS KNOWN
TO BE THE MOST EFFECTIVE METHOD OF ALLEVIATING OBESITY. IN FACT, NAPOLEON HILL A
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAMOUS
NUTRITIONIST IN THE
Apostrophes aren't needed for decades: "80S".
80'S
EXPERIMENTED WITH
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
MAIDENS THAT LIKENED THEIR
Possible spelling mistake found.
FATTNESS
WITH DAIRY PRODUCT,
Did you mean "these"?
THIS
MAIDENS WHERE COAXED TO MILK THIS FARM ANIMALS THEMSELVES, AFTER
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
SOME
FEW DAYS DOING SUCH
Possible spelling mistake found.
STRENOUS
JOBS THEY
HOWEVER
, DEVELOPED A PHOBIA FOR MILK.

IN ADDITION
, INCREASING THE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRICES
OF QUICK ALREADY MADE MEALS WOULD ENCOURAGE
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
BUY
INORGANIC GROCERIES WHICH IS A CHEAPER OPTION.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
BECAUSE
, ITS
USUALLY
FRESHLY
CULTIVATED, WITHOUT ANY
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ADDED
PRESERVATIVES.

IN CONCLUSION
, THE RAISING OF
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOOD
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PRICES
WOULD GO A LONG WAY TO CONTROL OVERWEIGHT BY ENCOURAGING
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
PEOPLE
TO GO FOR OTHER SAFER ALTERNATIVES LIKE NON-ORGANIC
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOODS
, CHEAPER GROCERIES OR OVER WORKING TO BE ABLE TO PAY FOR
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
FAST
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
FOODS
DESPITE THE COST,
THUS
EXERCISING IN THE PROCESS.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
If you talk to a man in a language he understands, that goes to his head. If you talk to him in his own language, that goes to his heart.
Nelson Mandela

IELTS essay TPO 32 - Question 4Explain how the example from the professor’s lecture illustrates the choice-supportive bias. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
318 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
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    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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