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Choice-Supportive BiasPeople often make decisions by considering the advantages and disadvantages of each option. However, after a person selects an option, there is a tendency for that person to exhibit the choice- supportive bias. After selecting an opt v.1

Choice-Supportive BiasPeople often make decisions by considering the advantages and disadvantages of each option. However, after a person selects an option, there is a tendency for that person to exhibit the choice- supportive bias. After selecting an opt v. 1
Social media users are increasing all over the world, and it seems that social media users might have select to share their personal information with anonymous people, which might put them in peril. With the varied amount of social apps it is becoming hard to avoid using them, and This significant rise in the number of social media users could have benefited. Firstly, sharing culture, people now are capable of learning and understanding other cultures, sharing information about the nature of the culture could be a major assist for those who are about to move to another country. Moreover, online purchasing, the ability to purchase anything from anywhere. For example, a certain kind of fruit can only be found in one place that it is hard to reach, people now can have it with no endeavour. On the other hand, this app normally requires a personal information to sign in, this information could be hidden, but some people select to expose their own information. Mostly, for attention, or sometime Untrusted people can use this information for bad purposes, as stealing by detecting houses locations. In addition to this problem, the free access to this app might be unsafe especially for children. For instance, they could face a problem as boils. In my point of view, I agree with the notion that the positives of social media are outbalance the negatives. If people become more careful about sharing their information and parents is monitoring their children, we can overcome some of the problem. The advantages of social media are huge and cannot be ignored. In conclusion, Social media could be beneficial or harmful depending on the reason for using it.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
users are increasing all over the world, and it seems that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
users might have select to share their personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
with anonymous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, which might put them in peril.

With the varied amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
apps it is becoming
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to avoid using them, and This significant rise in the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
users could have benefited.
Firstly
, sharing culture,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
are capable of learning and understanding other cultures, sharing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about the nature of the culture could be a major assist for those who are about to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
to another country.
Moreover
, online purchasing, the ability to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
anything from anywhere.
For example
, a certain kind of fruit can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
be found
in one place that it is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to reach,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
can have it with no
Possible spelling mistake. 'endeavour' is British English.
endeavour
.

On the other hand
, this app
normally
requires a personal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sign
in, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
could
be hidden
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
select to expose their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
.
Mostly
, for attention, or sometime Untrusted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
for
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
purposes, as stealing by detecting
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
houses
locations.
In addition
to this problem, the free access to this app might be unsafe
especially
for children.
For instance
, they could face a problem as boils.

In my point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the notion that the positives of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are
Consider using a past participle here: "outbalanced".
outbalance
the negatives. If
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
become more careful about sharing their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
and parents is monitoring their children, we can overcome
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
problem. The advantages of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
are huge and cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
media
could be beneficial or harmful depending on the reason for using it.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Language is not a genetic gift, it is a social gift. Learning a new language is becoming a member of the club – the community of speakers of that language.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Choice-Supportive BiasPeople often make decisions by considering the advantages and disadvantages of each option. However, after a person selects an option, there is a tendency for that person to exhibit the choice- supportive bias. After selecting an opt v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
279 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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