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Technology allows food to be produced in greater quantities at lower prices. Some people believe this is a positive development, while others feel that the change is harmful. Discuss both views and give your own opinions. v.2

Technology allows food to be produced in greater quantities at lower prices. Some people believe this is a positive development, while others feel that the change is harmful. v. 2
The widespread use of technology is very rampant nowadays. Some area considers it as beneficial in the food production. Thus, some believed that the used of Science allow the food to be brought in larger quantities of lesser price. While others argue, for this change can be detrimental. On the one hand, people think that through science, our everyday lives will be easier which includes the production of foods. We all know, our world nowadays is evolving into a high tech community. As a result, humans are also adopting with this trend. But there are still some areas of the world that are far behind with these discoveries. Therefore, food shortage is one of their leading problems. Through the use of machines, more food supplies can be produced and transported to other parts of the world where famine is a serious problem. At the same time, some oppose that machineries can give a harmful effect. Widely use of fertilizers and insecticides can cause problems on the farm. This is because chemicals can cause water pollution when washed by the rain. As a result, fishes and other animals living in the sea will be contaminated. And if people ingest it, this can be noxious for them. In my opinion, the use of robotics in the production of foods can both give benefit and harmful effects towards human. One of the biggest problems in developing countries is overpopulation. With overpopulation, demands for food also increase. When there's no balance between the supply and demand, shortage of food stuffs occurs. As a result, more people will starve to hunger. That is why robotics is beneficial, since it supplies a lot of produce to the community in an easy and convenient way. And If not used properly, It could also cost damaged in the agricultural sector as well as to the community. To conclude, the application of modern technology has pros and cons in our society. It is one's job of not abusing the advances of chemicals for it can have serious effects of on the surrounding.
The widespread
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of technology is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
rampant nowadays.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
area considers it as beneficial in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
production.
Thus
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believed that the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
of Science
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
to
be brought
in larger quantities of lesser price. While others argue, for this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
can be detrimental.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that through science, our everyday
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
will be easier which includes the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
. We all know, our world nowadays is evolving into a high tech community.
As a result
, humans are
also
adopting with this trend.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
there are
still
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas of the world that are far behind with these discoveries.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
shortage is one of their leading problems. Through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of machines, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
supplies can
be produced
and transported to other parts of the world where famine is a serious problem.

At the same time,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
oppose that
Possible spelling mistake found.
machineries
can give a harmful effect.
Widely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of fertilizers and insecticides can cause problems on the farm. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
chemicals can cause water pollution when washed by the rain.
As a result
, fishes and other animals living in the sea will
be contaminated
. And if
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
ingest it, this can be noxious for them.

In my opinion, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of robotics in the production of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foods
can both give benefit and harmful effects towards human. One of the biggest problems in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developing countries
is overpopulation. With overpopulation, demands for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
also
increase. When there's no balance between the supply and demand, shortage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
stuffs occurs.
As a result
, more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will starve to hunger.
That is
why robotics is beneficial, since it supplies
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
produce to the community in an easy and convenient way. And If not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
properly
, It could
also
cost damaged in the agricultural sector
as well
as to the community.

To conclude
, the application of modern technology has pros and cons in our society. It is one's job of not abusing the advances of chemicals for it can have serious effects of on the surrounding.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Technology allows food to be produced in greater quantities at lower prices. Some people believe this is a positive development, while others feel that the change is harmful. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
343 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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