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Explain how the example from the professor’s lecture illustrate the choice-supportive bias. v.1

Explain how the example from the professor’s lecture illustrate the choice-supportive bias. v. 1
The environment was relatively clean and health in the past and has deteriorated in recent years. Some people are of the opinion that this problem can be dealt only by governments and industries, whereas individuals have little or no importance to combat it. This essay believes that not only governments and companies should be responsible for solving this issue, but people should be equally responsible for it as well. Individuals play an important role when it comes to make our world a better place to live. Firstly, by reducing the consumption of products that provoke damage to nature, such as plastic, people have a substantial contribution to environmental salvation. Moreover, citizens should push their governments to implement laws to protect mother nature and consider sanctions for failure to comply. Last but not least, people should stop consuming products which originate from companies that pollute and are not environmental friendly. Therefore, such companies should change their behaviour in order to increase revenues. Many cities around the world have invested in public solutions to stop the rapid progress of environmental deterioration and such measures can be very effective. While authorities have set a number of measures that could deter unscrupulous companies to pollute, environmental friendly industries implemented new technology in order to reduce the use of carbon fuels, such as petroleum and coal, reducing, consequently, the emission of carbon dioxide, which is the main cause of global warming. In conclusion, public and private have power and budget to should join a "task force" to reduce environment fast deterioration, but individuals are responsible for doing their part, making a better world for the next generation.
The environment was
relatively
clean and health in the past and has deteriorated in recent years.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are of the opinion that this problem can
be dealt
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and industries, whereas individuals have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
or no importance to combat it. This essay believes that not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should be responsible for solving this issue,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should be
equally
responsible for it
as well
.

Individuals play an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role when it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our world a better place to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
.
Firstly
, by reducing the consumption of products that provoke damage to nature, such as plastic,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have a substantial contribution to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
salvation.
Moreover
, citizens should push their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
governments
to implement laws to protect mother nature and consider sanctions for failure to comply. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
consuming products which originate from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
that pollute and are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
friendly.
Therefore
, such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
their
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
in order to increase revenues.

This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
cities around the world have invested in public solutions to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stop
the rapid progress of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
deterioration and such measures can be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
effective. While authorities have set a number of measures that could deter unscrupulous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to pollute,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
environmental
friendly industries implemented new technology in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of carbon fuels, such as petroleum and coal, reducing,
consequently
, the emission of carbon dioxide, which is the main cause of global warming.

In conclusion
, public and private have power and budget to should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
a
Use a smart opening quote here: "“".
"
task force
Use a smart closing quote here: "”".
"
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
deterioration,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
individuals are responsible for doing their part, making a better world for the
next
generation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay Explain how the example from the professor’s lecture illustrate the choice-supportive bias. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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