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do you agree or disagree? The way a person dressed in is a good indication of his/her character or personality v.141

The way a person dressed in is a good indication of his/her character or personality v. 141
Writing number 24(indep-toefl exam) Time: 35 The question is whether dress can indicate people' s personality or not. Everyone in consideration to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement; however I am inclined to express that dress plays an important role in creating our character. I feel this way for some reasons, which I will explore them in following essay for empowering my view: To begin with, nobody could overlook this fact that such a technology-driven world requires to connect with different people and diverse backgrounds compared with the past, so it goes without saying people need to be up-dated not only in mind, but also in clothing field. Furthermore, the fashion industry has been improved during these years and it strongly keeps marching forward. Despite of all economic crises, human beings would rather to spend money for dressing. The soul of humanistic looks always for beauties; hence the cloths are able to cover this vital need. Needless to say when a person wears chic or neat; on the one hand, he respects himself; on the other hand, he obtains a sense of confidence. One should not forget that having high self- esteem boosts people' s performance whether in their work place, society, confronting with their friends and this list seems endless. The second reason for my advocating lies in the fact that people judge us in several ways. One of the most crucial factors for their judgment is what kind we dress. One should accept that nowadays people' s mind is in their eyes. If a person wears neat; spontaneously people prefer to relay on him. One has to notice that being neat is different with wearing expensive clothing. Elegant dresses and being decent cause people take you into account as an order person and for this reason; it is usually a striking feature in job interviewing. Moreover, the psychologists believe that the type of clothing can help them to recognize the people' s personality like being introvert or extrovert. To elucidate, take a person who wears almost jean or he has sport style, it is obvious such a person is willing to experience exciting things or better his character is active and witty. Or a person who dresses smart with tie, people think about him as political person. As I have illustrated, this conclusion could be drawn that our clothing not only affect on our character, but also it can influence on people how to behave with us.
Writing number 24(
Possible spelling mistake found.
indep-toefl
exam)

Time: 35

The question is whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
can indicate
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s personality or not. Everyone in consideration to his private view point can maintain a specific direction toward this statement;
however
I
am inclined
to express that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
plays an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in creating our character. I feel this way for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons, which I will explore them in following essay for empowering my view:

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, nobody could overlook this fact that such a technology-driven world requires to connect with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and diverse backgrounds compared with the past,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
it goes without saying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
need to be up-dated not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
in mind,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
in clothing field.
Furthermore
, the fashion industry has been
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
during these years and it
strongly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keeps
marching forward.
Did you mean "Despite" (or, alternatively, 'in spite of')?
Despite of
all economic crises, human beings would
rather
to spend money for dressing. The soul of humanistic looks always for beauties;
hence
the cloths are able to cover this vital need. Needless to say when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wears chic or neat; on the one hand, he respects himself;
on the other hand
, he obtains a sense of confidence. One should not forget that having high self- esteem boosts
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s performance whether in their work place, society, confronting with their friends and this list seems endless.

The second reason for my advocating lies in the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
judge us in several ways. One of the most crucial factors for their judgment is what kind we
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dress
. One should accept that nowadays
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s mind is in their eyes. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wears neat;
spontaneously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
prefer to relay on him. One
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
notice that being neat is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
with wearing expensive clothing. Elegant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
and being decent cause
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
take you into account as an order
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
and
for this reason
; it is
usually
a striking feature in job interviewing.

Moreover
, the psychologists believe that the type of clothing can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to recognize the
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s personality like being introvert or extrovert. To elucidate, take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who wears almost
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
jean or
he has sport style, it is obvious such a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
is willing to experience exciting things or better his character is active and witty. Or a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dresses
smart with tie,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about him as political person.

As I have illustrated, this conclusion could
be drawn
that our clothing not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "effect"?
affect
on our character,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
it can influence on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
how to behave with us.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
22Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay The way a person dressed in is a good indication of his/her character or personality v. 141

Essay
  American English
7 paragraphs
415 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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