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TPO 29 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement To improve the quality of education universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v.2

TPO 29 To improve the quality of education universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2
People have different opinion, some people believe that it is perfect for young people go to university, whereas, others think that they should be encouraged to work as a car mechanic, builders and all other relevant jobs. This essay will discuss both of the area of thoughts. To begin with, there are several benefits to go to university. First of all, the youngsters have the opportunity to learn, to train and graduate. This means that it is easier to find a good job and even easier to find a job with more qualification against other candidates. Furthermore, at a university they can do different subjects, which it means that it gives them the opportunity to discover their interests and things they are good at. Taking the above into consideration, the ones who do attend a university, can have more opportunities for their lives. On the other hand, others support that it is better to work as car mechanics or builders. Not everyone wants or can go to a university. This does not mean they are not clever or capable to succeed. For example, beyond to the theories of the educational institution, impose the practice of the profession, so maybe those who are starting to job in these professions can perform better. In addition, all these jobs are equally important for the society because there are many things which people cannot do. Many businessmen without university certificate can work by their passion, energy and effort. To conclude, my opinion is that young people are better for going to the university, but it is not bad for those to find work after leaving school.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
opinion,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it is perfect for young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, whereas, others
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that they should
be encouraged
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as a car mechanic, builders and all
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
relevant
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. This essay will discuss both of the area of thoughts.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, there are several benefits to go to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
.
This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the youngsters have the opportunity to learn, to train and graduate. This means that it is easier to find a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and even easier to find a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with more qualification against
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
candidates.
Furthermore
, at a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
they can do
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects, which it means that it gives them the opportunity to discover their interests and things they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
at. Taking the above into consideration, the ones who do attend a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
, can have more opportunities for their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, others support that it is better to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
as car mechanics or builders. Not everyone wants or can go to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
. This does not mean they are not clever or capable to succeed.
For example
, beyond to the theories of the educational institution, impose the practice of the profession,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
maybe those who are starting to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
in these professions can perform better.
In addition
, all these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
are
equally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for the society
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
things which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot do.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
businessmen without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
certificate can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
by their passion, energy and effort.

To conclude
, my opinion is that young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are better for going to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it is not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
for those to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
work
after leaving school.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay TPO 29 To improve the quality of education universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
272 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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