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TPO 29-Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 29- To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
Throughout history, education has been always played an important role in every individual life of all people around the world. There has been a controversial matter between erudite people that what is the most effective way to improve the quality of education, especially in universities. Some people believe that universities should increase salaries for university professors. In this writer' s viewpoint, this is a good idea that can have a positive effect on the quality of education. The following paragraphs elaborate on the thesis. To commence, salary is a crucial factor in any job. Thus, by increasing the amount of salaries of professors, they do not need to think about doing other works to fulfill their needs. Therefore, they can concentrate on their research subjects. In other words, they have more time to do more investigations and experiments that can have brilliant effects on science technologies and future education. A recent study at MIT university showed that professors with higher annual income have more and better research papers in scientific journals and have also a better educational method in their classes. As a result, more salary leads to more educational quality. Alongside the reason elaborated above, another reason that needs meticulous attention is that the professors with higher income have more time spend for their students. They not only speak with their students and solve their problems but also guide them and show them the best way to reach the goal during their research process. For example, I had a professor that he spent some hours a week to guide me and solve my study problems. So I finished the study sooner and published a good paper in a famous journal. As a result, with higher income, professors can spend more time for their students that can lead to improve the educational quality. In general, more salaries for university professors not only enhance their concentration on their research subjects but also encourage them to spend more time with their students.
Throughout history,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
The adverb 'always' is usually put between 'has' and 'been'.
has been always
played an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
role in every individual life of all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
around the world. There has been a controversial matter between erudite
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
that what is the most effective way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
,
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
should increase
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
. In this
Possible spelling mistake found.
writer&
#039; s viewpoint, this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
that can have a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effect on the quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. The following paragraphs elaborate on the thesis.

To commence,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
is a crucial factor in any job.
Thus
, by increasing the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
, they do not need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
about doing other works to fulfill their needs.
Therefore
, they can concentrate on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
subjects.
In other words
, they have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
to do more investigations and experiments that can have brilliant effects on science technologies and future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
education
. A recent study at MIT
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
showed
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
with higher annual income have more and better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
papers in scientific journals and have
also
a better educational method in their classes.
As a result
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salary
leads to more educational quality.

Alongside the reason elaborated above, another reason that needs meticulous attention is that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
with higher income have more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
spend for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. They not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
speak with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
and solve their problems
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
guide them and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
show
them the best way to reach the goal during their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
process.
For example
, I had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professor
that he spent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
hours a week to guide me and solve my study problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
I finished the study sooner and published a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
paper in a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
journal.
As a result
, with higher income,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
can spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
for their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
that can lead to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the educational quality.

In general
, more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
salaries
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
professors
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
enhance their concentration on their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
subjects
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
encourage them to spend more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
time
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
.
17Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 29- To improve the quality of education, universities should spend more money on salaries for university professors. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
330 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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