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TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and ex v.2

TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and ex v. 2
It goes without saying that in this complicated and progressive era in which we live in, all human beings are always striving to earn more money by getting a prestigious occupation. Whereas some individuals debate that getting a safe occupation is more important than waiting for a satisfying job, on the other side of the continuum, stand others, believing that people should take the opportunity when a secure job is suggested. As far as I am concerned, I totally agree with this mental attitude that getting is a secure job is much more significant. In the ensuing essay, my perspective will be substantiated by underlying reasons. To begin with, we should never forget that we live in a competitive world with a progressive rate of population and it is not easy for any job seeker to find a prestigious job with a higher monthly salary. Therefore, if a person wants to reject the opportunity to get a safe occupation, there may not be any guarantee to find a better position with job satisfaction as well as may be unemployed for a long time. As an example, consider a person lives in China, a country with the highest rate of population in comparison to the other countries. If a person does not pay attention to the opportunity to get a safe job, numerous people will be ahead in the queue to get a job with a satisfying condition. Therefore, his chance to find a job will decrease dramatically and he may remain without any work to do for several months. Moreover, if an individual gets a secure job, he will definitely become interested in that job owing to the fact that he always involves in doing some tasks related to that job. In such circumstance, this person should see the glass half full because he is able to get experience, improve skills, and learn information related to that occupation. All the mentioned factors will give rise to become successful and happy in his job and also will get a promotion in the future. An example can shed some light on the subject. Several years ago, I accepted an ordinary suggestion form Tesla Company due to the fact the head of the engineering department told me “the boss wants to keep you here for five years at least”. In this situation, I got the job and shut my eyes and stopped searching for any other positions. Then, I attempted to increase my knowledge about that position and became experienced in that field which led to an unbelievable promotion and being the vice-president of that company. If I had waited for another job, no great position like this would have been recommended to me. In sum, taking into account the aforementioned reasons and examples, I am of opinion that getting a secure job is more paramount than waiting for a satisfying job. This is because there is a strict competition between people to find a job and also a person can get satisfied in his secure job by increasing his knowledge about that position and becoming experienced.
It goes without saying that in this complicated and progressive era in which we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in, all human beings are always striving to earn more money by getting a prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
. Whereas
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
individuals debate that getting a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
than waiting for a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
side of the continuum, stand others, believing that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
should take the opportunity when a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is suggested
. As far as I
am concerned
, I
totally
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this mental attitude that getting is a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is much more significant. In the ensuing essay, my perspective will
be substantiated
by underlying reasons.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, we should never forget that we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
live
in a competitive world with a progressive rate of population and it is not easy for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
seeker to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a prestigious
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a higher monthly salary.
Therefore
, if a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
wants to reject the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
, there may not be any guarantee to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
satisfaction
as well
as may
be unemployed
for a long time. As an example, consider a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
in China, a country with the highest rate of population
in comparison
to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
countries. If a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
does not pay attention to the opportunity to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a safe
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, numerous
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will be ahead in the queue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
with a satisfying condition.
Therefore
, his chance to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
will decrease
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
dramatically and
he may remain without any work to do for several months.

Moreover
, if an individual
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
gets
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, he will definitely become interested in that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
owing to the fact that he always involves in doing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
tasks related to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. In such circumstance, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
the glass half full
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
he is able to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
experience,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
, and learn information related to that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
occupation
. All the mentioned factors will give rise to become successful and happy in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
also
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
a promotion in the future. An example can shed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
light on the subject. Several years ago, I
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
an ordinary suggestion form Tesla
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Company
due to the fact the head of the engineering department
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
told
me “the boss wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
you here for five years at least”. In this situation, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and shut my eyes and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
stopped
searching for any
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
positions
. Then, I attempted to increase my knowledge about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and became experienced in that field which led to an unbelievable promotion and being the vice-president of that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. If I had waited for another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, no great
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
like this would have
been recommended
to me.

In sum, taking into account the aforementioned reasons and examples, I am of opinion that getting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
is more paramount than waiting for a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
there is a strict competition between
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
and
also
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
satisfied in his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
secure
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
by increasing his knowledge about that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
position
and becoming experienced.
11Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
45Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
1Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay TPO-27 - Independent Writing Task If people have the opportunity to get a secure job, they should take it right away rather than wait for a job that would be more satisfying. Use specific reasons and ex v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
514 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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