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TPO 26 Agree Disagree It s better for children choose jobs that are similar to their parent jobs than to choose job that are very different from their parents jobs v.2

TPO 26 Agree Disagree It s better for children choose jobs that are similar to their parent jobs than to choose job that are very different from their parents jobs v. 2
Although some parents and their children choose jobs that are similar to let them share many experience with them or to get from their knowledge at the same field or may be to take some advices from them, but if it comes to me i won' t let my children to choose what i chose before. First of all the parents and their children may have different skills, different thinking in addition to that, parents may think in vary way from that of their children, for example my father was a professor he loved to teach students but at same time i' m not, , i don' t like teaching, i see it a such difficult career. Second our life becomes more complex and more different so even the jobs should choose according to the modern life, in past my grandpa worked as a farmer he had a really big farm so he was working there, but my father was focus on his studying and got really good scores in addition to that they sold their farm, so how he can choose the same job as his dad. Third, it is also depend on the ability of person, how he can deal with this job it depends on personality for instance my mother was working in a company at call center department, she wanted my sister to get this job also but my sister she can' t tolerate this job, she tired more faster than my mom, , further more she doesn' t like it she like to be an engineer. To put everything in nut shell, children should choose jobs according to their goals, ability, personality and other reasons not just like their parents, life become different and everything comes different too, while there are an arguments for both sides of issue but i think the children must use their personality to decide which is good for them.
Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
that are similar to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
them share
Possible agreement error. The noun experience seems to be uncountable; consider using: "much experience", "a good deal of experience".
many experience
with them or to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from their knowledge at the same field or may be to take
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
advices from them,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
if it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to me i
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
my
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
what
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
chose
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
may have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
thinking
in addition
to that,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
in vary way from that of their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
,
for example
my father was a professor he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
loved
to teach students
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
at same time
Possible spelling mistake found.
i&
#039; m not,
Two consecutive commas
,
i
Possible spelling mistake found.
don&
#039; t like teaching,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
it a such difficult career.

Second our life becomes more complex and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
even the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
according to the modern life, in past my grandpa worked as a farmer he had a
really
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
farm
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
he was working there,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my father was focus on his studying and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
scores
in addition
to that they sold their farm,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
how he can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
the same
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
as his dad.

Third, it is
also
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on the ability of person, how he can deal with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
it depends on personality
for instance
my mother was working in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
at call center department, she wanted my sister to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
also
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
my sister she
Possible spelling mistake found.
can&
#039; t tolerate this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
, she tired
Use only "faster" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more faster
than my mom,
Two consecutive commas
,
further
more she
Possible spelling mistake found.
doesn&
#039; t like it she like to be an engineer.

To put everything in nut shell,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
choose
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
according to their goals, ability, personality and other reasons not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
like their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parents
, life become
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
and everything
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
too, while there are
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "an argument" or simply "arguments"?
an arguments
for both sides of issue
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
children
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their personality to decide which is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for them.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
27Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
18Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 26 Agree Disagree It s better for children choose jobs that are similar to their parent jobs than to choose job that are very different from their parents jobs v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
319 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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