Do you want to improve your writing? Try our new evaluation service and get detailed feedback.
Check Your Text it's free

In time of economic crisis, in which field do you think the government can cut financial support? 1- Art2- Scientific research3- Parks and public garden. v.2

In time of economic crisis, in which field do you think the government can cut financial support? 1- Art2- Scientific research3- Parks and public garden. v. 2
Many people think that, during economic crisis the government can cut the financial support from the research and the parks and gardens. They think that the art is a valuable thing that the community cannot left behind. Although i understand their point of view, I see that during crisis the government can cut the financial support from the art but not from the research or parks and gardens because the arts it only effect few citizens, but the scientific research and the gardens are an advantage for all citizens. In addition, we can protect humans from several dangerous diseases by doing good scientific research. First, cutting a financial support from the public parks and gardens can affect many citizens. For example, if the government cut the support from the art, few people will effect. Those who are work in this field, and few percentage of population who are going to the museum to see paintings. Cutting support from art will not affect the advancement of the country. I agree it is important but other field need more support. On the other hand, if the government cut the support from the parks and gardens, the place which many people meant it. For example in South Carolina, the government didn' t maintain the trees at the public gardens, and there was a child 3 years old playing there. As a result of poorly maintained trees a bunch of trees fell on him, And it killed him. Next, cutting support from the scientific research will not allow the scientist to discover new treatments to dangerous disease. For example, if the scientific research prevented from the financial support, many disease will spread, and many people will die as a result of this untreated dangerous disease. On contrary, the advancement in scientific research and discover treatment for many dangerous disease protect the community and make the country a place which many other people seek to treat in it. . For example, India a country which many people from different countries meant it for the treatment because the government didn' t cut the support from scientific research as a result they know a lot about many diseases and their treatment. Moreover the governments get advantages from that, a good income from treatment will earn. In conclusion, according to the reasons mentioned above, i believe the government can cut the financial support from the art but not from the scientific research and parks and public gardens.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that, during economic crisis the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
. They
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
is a valuable thing that the community cannot
The verb 'cannot' requires the base form of the verb: "leave"
left
behind. Although
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
understand their point of view, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
that during crisis the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
arts
it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
Did you mean "effects"?
effect
few citizens,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
are an advantage for all citizens.
In addition
, we can protect humans from several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
by doing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
research.

First
, cutting a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
can affect
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
citizens. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
, few
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
Did you mean "affect"?
effect
. Those who are work in this field, and
Possible agreement error. The noun percentage seems to be countable; consider using: "few percentages".
few percentage
of population who are going to the museum to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
paintings. Cutting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
will not affect the advancement of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
other field need more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
.
On the other hand
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
, the place which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
meant it. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
in South Carolina, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t maintain the trees at the public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
, and there was a child 3 years
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
old
playing there.
As a result
of
poorly
maintained trees a bunch of trees
Possible agreement error. Did you mean "falls", "fells"? (Some collective nouns can be treated as both singular and plural, so 'fell' is not always incorrect.)
fell
on him, And it killed him.

Next
, cutting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
will not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allow
the scientist to discover new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatments
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevented
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
will spread, and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
die
as a result
of this untreated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
. On contrary, the advancement in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and discover
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
for
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
dangerous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
disease
protect the community and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
a place which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
seek to treat in it.
Don't put a space before the full stop
.
For
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
example
, India a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
meant it for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
as a result
they know a lot about
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
diseases
and their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
.
Did you forget a comma after a conjunctive/linking adverb?
Moreover
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
advantages from that, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
income from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
treatment
will earn.

In conclusion
, according to the reasons mentioned above,
Is this the personal pronoun "I"? It is spelled uppercase.
i
believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
can
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cut
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
financial
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
support
from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
art
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
parks
and public
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gardens
.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
92Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12Mistakes

IELTS essay In time of economic crisis, in which field do you think the government can cut financial support? 1- Art2- Scientific research3- Parks and public garden. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
409 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
Similar posts


Recent posts