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TPO 21Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 21 For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
It goes without saying that the dawn of civilization, the job has played a prevailing role in every individuals' life. Perhaps the most controversial part of this issue is success in job. The inevitable question has invariably engendered heated debated among academicians is whether the ability to communicate well to others is more important in success in a future job or studying hard in school be in higher priority. Therefore, a plethora of people are the leading proponents of the former. Whereas others hold exact opposite perspective and believed that studying more significant than the ability to relate well to people. I am, contrary to both conventions, inclined toward the oponion that communication isn' t in a higher important or viceversa; both of them is needed for attaining success in future job. To substantiate my point of view; the following paragraph will aptly elucidate a cursory glance at the outstanding reasons. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that other humans have a great influence in bodies' life especially in jobs. Had a person communicate with others in the best way, he would readily prevail his idea in any works. In my oponion, the way of interaction with people is a crucial tool for attracting other attention to yourself. Take a personal experience as an example; when I was a student in school, rarely had I go to store alone. One day, I went to a shop-center with my best friend. We are faced with a women in this center, she is so friendly and have a high talent in communication and interaction with others. Her attribute had impact on us that led to our shopping from this center; nevertheless this quality wasn' t so good. Furthermore, it is established beyond doubt that secrete of the success is refered to communication beside the enough knowledge. These two factor are so important that a person change all life easily. When a person has an adequate sience in corresponding field and can use this information with an appropriate interaction, a great number of success bombarded him. This person such a complete person that any company is hired readily with an enormous salary. The noteworthy research statistic, revealed by a recent social research conducted in our city shows that more people have knowledge and communication, more sense of satisfaction and overcoming a challenge is created. The amount of success in these people is higher than another people in my city. To recapitulate, all the aforementioned reasons converge the point that the talent to relate well to people shouldn' t be aim for all society with higher priority than other issues like studying hard in schools or universities. Both of theme is required in jobs. However, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are some other reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above. Finally, it is suggested that a survey is conducted to find out whether people have experienced valuable results by more pay attention to the communication and gathering knowledge in job or not. Time: 49 min Words: 537
It goes without saying that the dawn of civilization, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
has played a prevailing role in every
Possible spelling mistake found.
individuals&
#039; life. Perhaps the most controversial part of this issue is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. The inevitable question has
invariably
engendered heated debated among academicians is whether the ability to communicate well to others is more
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in a future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in school be in higher priority.
Therefore
, a plethora of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are the leading proponents of the former. Whereas others hold exact opposite perspective and believed that studying more significant than the ability to relate well to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
. I am, contrary to both conventions, inclined toward the
Possible spelling mistake found.
oponion
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
Possible spelling mistake found.
isn&
#039; t in a higher
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
or
Possible spelling mistake found.
viceversa
; both of them
is needed
for attaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in future
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
. To substantiate my point of view; the following paragraph will
aptly
elucidate a cursory glance at the outstanding reasons.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
humans have a great influence in
Possible spelling mistake found.
bodies&
#039; life
especially
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
. Had a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
communicate with others in the best way, he would
readily
prevail his
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
in any works. In my
Possible spelling mistake found.
oponion
, the way of interaction with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a crucial tool for attracting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
attention to yourself. Take a personal experience as an example; when I was a student in school, rarely had I go to store alone. One day, I went to a shop-center with my best friend. We
are faced
with
Don't use indefinite articles with plural words. Did you mean "a woman" or simply "women"?
a women
in this center, she is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
friendly and have a high talent in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and interaction with others. Her attribute had impact on us that led to our shopping from this center;
nevertheless
this quality
Possible spelling mistake found.
wasn&
#039; t
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
.

Furthermore
, it
is established
beyond doubt that secrete of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
is
Possible spelling mistake. Did you mean "referred", the past tense form of the verb 'refer'?
refered
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
beside the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
knowledge. These two factor are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
that a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
all life
easily
. When a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
has an adequate
Possible spelling mistake found.
sience
in corresponding field and can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
this information with an appropriate interaction, a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
bombarded him. This
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
such a complete
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
that any
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
is hired
readily
with an enormous salary. The noteworthy research statistic, revealed by
Uncountable nouns are usually not used with an indefinite article. Use simply "recent social research".
a recent social research
conducted in our city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
that more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have knowledge and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
, more sense of satisfaction and overcoming a challenge
is created
. The amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
success
in these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
higher than another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in my city.

To recapitulate, all the aforementioned reasons converge the point that the talent to relate well to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
Possible spelling mistake found.
shouldn&
#039; t be aim for all society with higher priority than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
issues like studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in schools or universities. Both of theme
is required
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
However
, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above.
Finally
, it
is suggested
that a survey
is conducted
to find out whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have experienced valuable results by more pay attention to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
communication
and gathering knowledge in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
or not.

Time: 49 min

Words: 537
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes
You live a new life for every new language you speak. If you know only one language, you live only once.
Czech Proverb

IELTS essay TPO 21 For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
512 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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