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TPO 21Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 21 For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
It goes without saying that the dawn of civilization, the job has played a prevailing role in every individuals' life. Perhaps the most controversial part of this issue is success in job. The inevitable question has invariably engendered heated debated among academicians is whether the ability to communicate well to others is more important in success in a future job or studying hard in school be in higher priority. Therefore, a plethora of people are the leading proponents of the former. Whereas others hold exact opposite perspective and believed that studying more significant than the ability to relate well to people. I am, contrary to both conventions, inclined toward the oponion that communication isn' t in a higher important or viceversa; both of them is needed for attaining success in future job. To substantiate my point of view; the following paragraph will aptly elucidate a cursory glance at the outstanding reasons. The first exquisite point to be mentioned is that other humans have a great influence in bodies' life especially in jobs. Had a person communicate with others in the best way, he would readily prevail his idea in any works. In my oponion, the way of interaction with people is a crucial tool for attracting other attention to yourself. Take a personal experience as an example; when I was a student in school, rarely had I go to store alone. One day, I went to a shop-center with my best friend. We are faced with a women in this center, she is so friendly and have a high talent in communication and interaction with others. Her attribute had impact on us that led to our shopping from this center; nevertheless this quality wasn' t so good. Furthermore, it is established beyond doubt that secrete of the success is refered to communication beside the enough knowledge. These two factor are so important that a person change all life easily. When a person has an adequate sience in corresponding field and can use this information with an appropriate interaction, a great number of success bombarded him. This person such a complete person that any company is hired readily with an enormous salary. The noteworthy research statistic, revealed by a recent social research conducted in our city shows that more people have knowledge and communication, more sense of satisfaction and overcoming a challenge is created. The amount of success in these people is higher than another people in my city. To recapitulate, all the aforementioned reasons converge the point that the talent to relate well to people shouldn' t be aim for all society with higher priority than other issues like studying hard in schools or universities. Both of theme is required in jobs. However, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are some other reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above. Finally, it is suggested that a survey is conducted to find out whether people have experienced valuable results by more pay attention to the communication and gathering knowledge in job or not. Time: 49 min Words: 537
It goes without saying that the dawn of civilization, the
job
has played a prevailing role in every
individuals&
#039; life. Perhaps the most controversial part of this issue is
success
in
job
. The inevitable question has
invariably
engendered heated debated among academicians is whether the ability to communicate well to others is more
important
in
success
in a future
job
or studying
hard
in school be in higher priority.
Therefore
, a plethora of
people
are the leading proponents of the former. Whereas others hold exact opposite perspective and believed that studying more significant than the ability to relate well to
people
. I am, contrary to both conventions, inclined toward the
oponion
that
communication
isn&
#039; t in a higher
important
or
viceversa
; both of them
is needed
for attaining
success
in future
job
. To substantiate my point of view; the following paragraph will
aptly
elucidate a cursory glance at the outstanding reasons.

The
first
exquisite point to
be mentioned
is that
other
humans have a great influence in
bodies&
#039; life
especially
in
jobs
. Had a
person
communicate with others in the best way, he would
readily
prevail his
idea
in any works. In my
oponion
, the way of interaction with
people
is
a crucial tool for attracting
other
attention to yourself. Take a personal experience as an example; when I was a student in school, rarely had I go to store alone. One day, I went to a shop-center with my best friend. We
are faced
with
a women
in this center, she is
so
friendly and have a high talent in
communication
and interaction with others. Her attribute had impact on us that led to our shopping from this center;
nevertheless
this quality
wasn&
#039; t
so
good
.

Furthermore
, it
is established
beyond doubt that secrete of the
success
is
refered
to
communication
beside the
enough
knowledge. These two factor are
so
important
that a
person
change
all life
easily
. When a
person
has an adequate
sience
in corresponding field and can
use
this information with an appropriate interaction, a great number of
success
bombarded him. This
person
such a complete
person
that any
company
is hired
readily
with an enormous salary. The noteworthy research statistic, revealed by
a recent social research
conducted in our city
shows
that more
people
have knowledge and
communication
, more sense of satisfaction and overcoming a challenge
is created
. The amount of
success
in these
people
is
higher than another
people
in my city.

To recapitulate, all the aforementioned reasons converge the point that the talent to relate well to
people
shouldn&
#039; t be aim for all society with higher priority than
other
issues like studying
hard
in schools or universities. Both of theme
is required
in
jobs
.
However
, that was a story in a nutshell; actually, there are
some
other
reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above.
Finally
, it
is suggested
that a survey
is conducted
to find out whether
people
have experienced valuable results by more pay attention to the
communication
and gathering knowledge in
job
or not.

Time: 49 min

Words: 537
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
14Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 21 For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
6 paragraphs
512 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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