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TPO 21 - Question 2Do you agree or disagree with the following statement: Your friends are the most important influence in your life. Use details and examples to explain your opinion. v.1

TPO 21 - Question 2: Your friends are the most important influence in your life. Use details and examples to explain your opinion. v. 1
Scientific research is a hotly-debate topic that often divides opinion. It is thought to be managed and funded by authorities instead of private institutions. To a certain extent, I agree that the government is responsible for research projects. However, I believe that these activities should also be conducted by private organizations. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument. To start with, the government is capable of providing financial assistance to various research projects, as governments of different countries can collaborate together. For instance, they can carry out research into ways of coping with the greenhouse effect. Unlike private companies, governments have a tendency to take notice of research fields that can benefit society. Studies related to environmental issues or crime rates are great examples. Furthermore, if the project fails, the government has the resources to deal with the losses incurred. On the contrary, companies usually only amplify profits rather than giving all citizens a hand. A scientific project which is organized and handled by private companies, would deteriorate its reliability. Without government control, some companies could carry out illegal research like destructive, biochemical weapons, and it could pose a bad consequence to society, even threaten the world peace. It is the governments’ job to prevent and block these kinds of research. Nevertheless, I believe that private companies should also share the responsibility to conduct scientific research. The first advantage is that this could help to lighten the burden on the national budget. As a result, citizens just have to pay lower taxes, and the authorities would also have more cash to spend on other important territories such as education or the military. Since the top priority of companies is to earn money, they would have more motivation to conduct research more quickly and effectively. Without sufficient funding, a lot of important scientific projects would be abandoned, impact unfavourably on the progress of any nation. In addition, the scope of scientific research is varied and extensive, and private companies could hide some research which is not controlled by the authorities. On top of that, when the funding comes from the same institution, the results could also be biased to make sure there is an auspicious outcome of the funding organization. Weighing up both sides of the argument, from my point of view, private companies need to be given their own freedom in doing research, but with adequate and appropriate monitoring from the government.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is a
hotly
-debate topic that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
often
divides opinion. It is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
thought
to
be managed
and funded by authorities
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
institutions. To a certain extent, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is responsible for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
.
However
, I believe that these activities should
also
be conducted
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
organizations. The following essay takes a look at both sides of the argument.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
is capable of providing financial assistance to various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
, as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
countries can collaborate together.
For instance
, they can carry out
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
into ways of coping with the greenhouse effect. Unlike
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments
have a tendency to take notice of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
fields that can benefit society. Studies related to environmental issues or crime rates are great examples.
Furthermore
, if the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
fails, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
has the resources to deal with the losses incurred.
On the contrary
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
amplify profits
rather
than giving all citizens a hand. A
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
which
is organized
and handled by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
, would deteriorate its reliability. Without
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
control,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could carry out illegal
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
like destructive, biochemical weapons, and it could pose a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
The usual preposition to use after "consequence" is not "to". Did you mean "consequence of", "consequence for", or "consequence on"?
consequence to
society, even threaten the world peace. It is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
governments’
job to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
prevent
and block these kinds of research.

Nevertheless
, I believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
should
also
share the responsibility to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
. The
first
advantage is that this could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to lighten the burden on the national budget.
As a result
, citizens
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pay lower taxes, and the authorities would
also
have more cash to spend on other
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
territories such as education or the military. Since the top priority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
is to earn money, they would have more motivation to conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
more
quickly
and
effectively
. Without sufficient funding,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
would
be abandoned
, impact
Possible spelling mistake found.
unfavourably
on the progress of any nation.
In addition
, the scope of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
scientific
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
is varied
and extensive, and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hide
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
which is not controlled by the authorities.
On top of that
, when the funding
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
from the same institution, the results could
also
be biased
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
sure there is an auspicious outcome of the funding organization.

Weighing up both sides of the argument, from my point of view,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
need to be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
freedom in doing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
research
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
with adequate and appropriate monitoring from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
government
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 21 - Question 2: Your friends are the most important influence in your life. Use details and examples to explain your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
407 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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