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TPO-21- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO-21- For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
In today' s world, people are in an intense challenge to achieve the success. In this regard, they should adapt themselves to all of the complicated methods to get to their goals. However, there are certain considerations and factors which every person ought to bear it in their mind to find the most faster way. When it comes to success in a future job, controversy surrounds the issue of whether people should improve their social abilities or study carefully. I am of the opinion that a successful person has to advance its social connections, and the following explanations will further elaborate on this perspective. To begin with, a good social relationship with people will further enhance the chance of getting a promotion or other advance in comparison to regular employees in a working place. As a matter of fact, a person who talks eloquently and persuades everyone easily can be a suitable candidate for a business to achieve more customers and also create an intimate ambiance in the place. My friend Sam, for instance, has an excellent ability to make contact with people and this facilitates getting their company many advantages over their rivals. Thanks to his advance, he got several contracts for his business, and this has made him the most well-paid employee in the working place. Also, the ability to relate well to others may open up a way for companies to cover their problems. Today, all factories and corporations compete to reach to a keen interest rate. This requires not only a careful planning but also an enormous amount of update knowledge. Thus, they acquire many methods to sell their products to their prospective customers. Perhaps my personal experience may shed more light on this matter. I worked in a firm which employed a cutting-edge technology in its recent product. Sadly, this led to a significant problem in the product and thus made customers aggressive towards our company. If we did not talk to the customers and make them sure that the firm would refund for their expenses, the company might have been going bankruptcy. On the other hand, studying hard in school and getting a profound knowledge will let us create innovative things and methods. This is not possible without spending many hours in front of your desk and researching through all the fields of science. In essence, a gifted person would make it possible for the business holder likely to gain the edge over other competitors. In sum, I am pretty convinced that there are many solid reasons to support the idea of having the ability to relate nicely to people rather than studying hard in school. While getting a deep understanding in several fields of study by studying hard will make us able to create more ideas, a good relation can always survive a business and also might make an employee to get promoted.
In
Possible spelling mistake found.
today&
#039; s world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are in an intense challenge to achieve the success. In this regard, they should adapt themselves to
Consider using "all the".
all of the
complicated methods to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
to their goals.
However
, there are certain considerations and factors which every
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
ought to bear it in their mind to find the
Use only "faster" (without 'most') when you use the comparative.
most faster
way. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to success in a future job, controversy surrounds the issue of whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
abilities
or study
carefully
. I am of the opinion that a successful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
has to
advance its social connections, and the following explanations will
further
elaborate on this perspective.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
social relationship with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will
further
enhance the chance of getting a promotion or
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
advance
in comparison
to regular employees in a working place. As a matter of fact, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
who talks
eloquently
and persuades everyone
easily
can be a suitable candidate for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
to achieve more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and
also
create an intimate ambiance in the place. My friend Sam,
for instance
, has an excellent
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
contact with
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and this facilitates getting their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages over their rivals. Thanks to his advance, he
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
several contracts for his
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
, and this has made him the most well-paid employee in the working place.

Also
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to relate well to others may open up a way for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
companies
to cover their problems.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Today
, all factories and corporations compete to reach to a keen interest rate. This requires not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
a careful planning
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
an enormous amount of update knowledge.
Thus
, they acquire
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
methods to sell their products to their prospective
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
. Perhaps my personal experience may shed more light on this matter. I worked in a firm which employed a cutting-edge technology in its recent product.
Sadly
, this led to a significant problem in the product and
thus
made
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
aggressive towards our
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
. If we did not talk to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
them sure that the firm would refund for their expenses, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
company
might have been going bankruptcy.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in school and getting a profound knowledge will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
us create innovative things and methods. This is not possible without spending
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
hours in front of your desk and researching through all the fields of science. In essence, a gifted
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
person
would
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
it possible for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
holder likely to gain the edge over
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
competitors.

In sum, I am pretty convinced that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
solid reasons to support the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of having the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
ability
to relate
nicely
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
rather
than studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
in school. While getting a deep understanding in several fields of study by studying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
us able to create more
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
, a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
relation can always survive a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
business
and
also
might
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
an employee to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
promoted.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
33Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-21- For success in a future job, the ability to relate well to people is more important than studying hard in school. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
480 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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