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tpo 20-2Some people prefer to learn about current events from watching television news programs. Others prefer to read about current events in newspapers or on the internet, Which do you think is better: watching the news or reading the news? Explain wh v.1

tpo 20-2Some people prefer to learn about current events from watching television news programs. Others prefer to read about current events in newspapers or on the internet, Which do you think is better: watching the news or reading the news? Explain wh v. 1
It is important to maintain the divorce level of employees in the company. There are people who believe the elder employees have more advantages compare to those, who prefer the young labours. I think the elder resources are essential for a successful association as per the following reasons. From one point of view, the young employees are not qualified enough to manage the task properly. For better performance, they need a qualified and experienced manager to guide them and support where they are not able to decide. For example, a new appointed person is not familiar with the firm existing system and policy. It takes sometimes to be assessed by one well known employee to provide orientation on the procedures and policies of the company. They can gradually promote to each step of their promotion, they will learn more experiences and as a result of these experiences and qualification, they will be ready to open next door of success. From another view, the elder employees have both experiences and educations to proactively predict a task related matter. Instance, a qualified manager can analysis the market and take necessary action well in advance to increase the revenue of the community. As they are qualified, they know how efficiently and effectively use the resources to meet the organization’s objectives in the shortest way and time. In addition, they have devoted time to train the new labour to follow their methodology in modern terms and substitute the elder groups as soon as they may be retired. Having looked at both sides, new employees can be eminent when they work with the elder labours. In my opinion, the elder employees are the most important resources of the organization.
It is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
to maintain the divorce level of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
in the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. There are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
who believe the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have more advantages compare to those, who prefer the young
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
. I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
resources are essential for a successful association as per the following reasons.

From one point of view, the young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are not
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to manage the task
properly
. For better performance, they need a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
and experienced manager to guide them and support where they are not able to decide.
For example
, a new appointed person is not familiar with the firm existing system and policy. It takes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to
be assessed
by one well known
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employee
to provide orientation on the procedures and policies of the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
. They can
gradually
promote to each step of their promotion, they will learn more experiences and
as a result
of these experiences and qualification, they will be ready to open
next
door of success.

From another view, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
have both experiences and educations to
proactively
predict a task related matter. Instance, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
manager can analysis the market and take necessary action well in advance to increase the revenue of the community. As they are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
qualified
, they know how
efficiently
and
effectively
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the resources to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
the organization’s objectives in the shortest way and time.
In addition
, they have devoted time to train the new
Possible spelling mistake. 'labour' is British English.
labour
to follow their methodology in modern terms and substitute the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
groups as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as they may
be retired
.

Having looked at both sides, new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
can be eminent when they work with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
Possible spelling mistake. 'labours' is British English.
labours
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
elder
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
employees
are the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
resources of the organization.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay tpo 20-2Some people prefer to learn about current events from watching television news programs. Others prefer to read about current events in newspapers or on the internet, Which do you think is better: watching the news or reading the news? Explain wh v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
284 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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