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Decribe a place that you enjoy visitingYou should say: where the place iswhat you can see and do therehow it has changed since you first visited it. and explain why you enjoy visiting this place. v.1

Decribe a place that you enjoy visitingYou should say: where the place iswhat you can see and do therehow it has changed since you first visited it. and explain why you enjoy visiting this place. v. 1
In the modern world, people use the Internet as a communication satellite which helps us contact and exchange easily. Despite its benefits, some people believe that it may not be the best place to find information. In my opinion, there has both two-sided affair of these views. It has no doubt to say the Internet is an excellent means of communication. When people get far away from others, they only have to pick up a phone via Internet to contact by calling or messaging anyone they want, even foreigners. We also exchange working and studying with others anytime and anywhere through the video call. Sometimes it's very urgent and we have no time to meet that person directly, then the Internet's benefits can help us. For example, you are tidying up your house because you will have a dancing party tonight, but your speaker is broken so you do make a call to someone to fix that instead of wasting your time to find and meet them. Although the Internet is convenient for people to communicate, it may not the best place to find information. We can search anything we want to know about Google but it doesn't contain all the thing affording correctly our demand. Some information may not real, not suitable for us in some situations. For example, when the Google map instructs you how to get that place by that street, but your friends know how to get there faster by another street so the second option is better. We have to gain our own experience and knowledge in the real life in order to have information ourselves or we can ask our friends for advice. Because the Internet is just a kind of technology, it has no feeling and emotion. Especially when you are upset or depressed, the Internet may not help you anyway bur people around you can. In conclusion, it is very convenient to communicate with others via the Internet, but finding information on the Internet may not the best place.
In the modern world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the Internet as a communication satellite which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
us contact and exchange
easily
. Despite its benefits,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that it may not be the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. In my opinion, there has both two-sided affair of these views.

It has no doubt to say the Internet is an excellent means of communication. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
far away from others, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
pick up a phone via Internet to contact by calling or messaging anyone they want, even foreigners. We
also
exchange working and studying with others anytime and anywhere through the video call.
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
Sometimes
it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
urgent and
we have no time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
that person
directly
, then the Internet's benefits can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
us.
For example
, you are tidying up your
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
you will have a dancing party tonight,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your speaker
is broken
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
you do
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a call to someone to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
fix
that
instead
of wasting your time to find and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
them.

Although the Internet is convenient for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to communicate, it may not the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
to find
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. We can search anything we want to know about Google
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
it doesn't contain all the thing affording
correctly
our demand.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may not real, not suitable for us in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
situations.

For example
, when the Google map instructs you how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
by that street,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
your friends know how to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
there faster by another street
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the second option is better. We
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
gain our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience and knowledge in the real life in order to have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
Use a comma before 'or' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
ourselves or
we can ask our friends for advice.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
the Internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
a kind of technology, it has no feeling and emotion.
Especially
when you
are upset
or depressed, the Internet may not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
you anyway bur
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around you can.

In conclusion
, it is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
convenient to communicate with others via the Internet,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
finding
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
on the Internet may not the best
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
place
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes
A different language is a different vision of life.
Federico Fellini

IELTS essay Decribe a place that you enjoy visitingYou should say: where the place iswhat you can see and do therehow it has changed since you first visited it. and explain why you enjoy visiting this place. v. 1

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
337 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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