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TPO 18- Task 2Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? It is important to learn about other cultures. Use details and examples to explain your opinion. v.1

TPO 18- Task 2 It is important to learn about other cultures. Use details and examples to explain your opinion. v. 1
Nowadays, people, especially young individuals tend to copy famous people by following them on media resources such as social webs, television, and magazines. Every day scrolling our feed on the Internet we can observe celebrity’s life by watching their stories and checking the news with their attendance. The phenomenon like fans and copycats is triggered by some factors, that make people want to put eyes on them and try to be outstanding. But why does this phenomenon occur in our society? The first answer to this thorny issue is hidden in a child’s psychology. When children are interested in some popularities, they automatically identify them as a fancy and successful person. And this fact belongs that a major part of teenagers start thinking about making changes in their appearance to be more attractive or more noticeable in our society. For instance, lots of girls in 12-15 ages adhere to trends, therefore, to achieve success and attracting more people to their stylish look. Although the tendency of copying famous people is a very common method of drawing attention, it is an unnecessary thing. Undoubtedly, there are some benefits of modelling your life after important personalities, like following the good qualities of our superstars or trying to keep good habits. Nevertheless, one should accept that it might gain temporary happiness by copying the lifestyle of celebrities rather than developing own originality. When a person doesn’t imitate someone more authoritative or attractive, it boosts confidence that leads to greater success in life. In conclusion, we all need to understand that copying someone’s wear, lifestyle, behaviour and other parts of a stranger's life can damage or destroy our individuality.
Nowadays,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
especially
young individuals tend to copy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
by following them on media resources such as social webs, television, and magazines. Every day scrolling our feed on the Internet we can observe celebrity’s life by watching their stories and checking the news with their attendance. The phenomenon like fans and copycats
is triggered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
factors, that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
want to put eyes on them and try to be outstanding.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
why does this phenomenon occur in our society?

The
first
answer to this thorny issue
is hidden
in a child’s psychology. When children
are interested
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Possible spelling mistake found.
popularities
, they
automatically
identify them as a fancy and successful person. And this fact belongs that a major part of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
teenagers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
thinking about making
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
in their appearance to be more attractive or more noticeable in our society.
For instance
, lots of girls in 12-15 ages adhere to trends,
therefore
, to achieve success and attracting more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to their stylish look.

Although the tendency of copying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
If 'people' is plural here, don't use the third-person singular verb.
is
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
common method of drawing attention, it is an unnecessary thing.
Undoubtedly
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
benefits of modelling your life after
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
personalities, like following the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
qualities of our superstars or trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
habits.
Nevertheless
, one should accept that it might gain temporary happiness by copying the lifestyle of celebrities
rather
than developing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
originality. When a person doesn’t imitate someone more authoritative or attractive, it boosts confidence that leads to greater success in life.

In conclusion
, we all need to understand that copying someone’s wear, lifestyle,
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviour' is British English.
behaviour
and other parts of a stranger's life can damage or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroy
our individuality.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The limits of my language are the limits of my world.
Ludwig Wittgenstein

IELTS essay TPO 18- Task 2 It is important to learn about other cultures. Use details and examples to explain your opinion. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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