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TPO 17 – task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better than they are. v.1

TPO 17 – task 2: Most advertisements make products seem much better than they are. v. 1
Over the years, advertising companies have been increasing dramatically. Certainly, this will influence the sales of the goods. Some people assert that high sales of consumer goods reflect the power of advertising while others contend the assertion. Well, I partially agree with the assertion. Although advertisement of affect the sales, the real needs of the society is something to be concerned about. To begin with, people can be convinced to buy goods through the help of advertisement. Furthermore, selling of goods depends on how the costumers think and feel about the products. For instance, currently, the market is ruled by the products which have the impressions public. The fascinating advertisement creates the belief in the mind of the buyer. Moreover, purchasers find the characteristics of goods through the advertisement such as their qualities, ingredients, production house and their quantities. Consequently, showing off the goods that the users wanted to make a certain kind of belief system in his/her mind. On the contrary, The actual necessities of the costumers are something which is to be considered in the buying and selling of the products. Brain washing through media, internet and television is the prominent factor in purchasing the goods. Even though the costumers know what they wanted, eventually they search their mind for their beliefs about the products. This creates the unhealthy environment in trade. In spite of the fancy advertisement costumers should understand their daily needs. To conclude, advertising surely rules the market, but the real needs of costumer should also be addressed. However, there is an adverse impact of media on this business.
Over the years, advertising
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
have been increasing
dramatically
.
Certainly
, this will influence the sales of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
assert that high sales of consumer
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
reflect the power of advertising while others contend the assertion. Well, I
partially
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the assertion. Although
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
affect the sales, the real needs of the society is something to
be concerned
about.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
can
be convinced
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
through the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
.
Furthermore
, selling of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
depends on how the costumers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
and feel about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
.
For instance
,
currently
, the market
is ruled
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
which have the impressions public. The fascinating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
creates the belief in the mind of the buyer.
Moreover
, purchasers find the characteristics of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
through the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
such as their qualities, ingredients, production
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
house
and their quantities.
Consequently
, showing off the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
that the users wanted to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a certain kind of belief system in his/her mind.

On the contrary
, The actual necessities of the costumers are something which is to
be considered
in the buying and selling of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Brain washing through media, internet and television is the prominent factor in purchasing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
goods
.
Even though
the costumers know what they wanted,
eventually
they search their mind for their beliefs about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This creates the unhealthy environment in trade.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
In spite of
the fancy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
costumers should understand their daily needs.

To conclude
, advertising
surely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
rules
the market,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
the real needs of costumer should
also
be addressed
.
However
, there is an adverse impact of media on this business.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 17 – task 2: Most advertisements make products seem much better than they are. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
264 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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