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You have been invited to attend an interview for a place studying a course in a college. Unfortunately, because of a previous appointment, you cannot come at the time they wish. Write a letter to the admissions tutor. In your letter• explain your positi v.1

You have been invited to attend an interview for a place studying a course in a college. Unfortunately, because of a previous appointment, you cannot come at the time they wish. Write a letter to the admissions tutor. In your letter• explain your positi v. 1
The state gives more importance to the development of the economy as compared to any other field. The main advantage of this is that it opens more employment opportunities, and the key disadvantage is environmental problems get less attention, which should be the foremost priority. The biggest benefit of prioritizing economic development is the fact that it increases the number of jobs in many fields. This is because the economy of any country depends upon a number of people are employed in that county. If a country has a higher employment rate, it automatically means employed people are contributing to the country's wealth in the form of tax because people get jobs with the presence of more industries and companies, which is the source factor that makes the nation's wealth. For example, according to the survey by the National Union, 88% of the people in developed countries have a satisfying job than developing nations because of the differences in the economy. In my opinion, the economy does play a significant role by providing people a source of income, which is why economic growth should get importance. However, some believe that the drawback of prioritizing the economy is that it has deteriorated nature sharply. Industries are the source of the nation's wealth, and these industries are causing a huge amount of pollution. When chemical industries drain harmful chemicals in rivers and discharge pollutants in the air, it pollutes the drinking water and breathable air. For instance, a report by the BBC news states that the ODO chemical factory in Australia, which releases very harmful chemicals in the air, has depleted the Ozone layer. This is resulting in health problems such as skin cancer and lung diseases. In conclusion, the primary value of having higher economic growth is the fact that people are getting jobs because of the more factories and industries, and the downside is that the earth's atmosphere is becoming worse because factories are the source of air and water pollution.
The state gives more importance to the development of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
as compared to any other field. The main advantage of this is that it opens more employment opportunities, and the key disadvantage is environmental problems
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
less attention, which should be the foremost priority.

Three successive sentences begin with the same word. Consider rewording the sentence or use a thesaurus to find a synonym.
The
biggest benefit of prioritizing economic development is the fact that it increases the number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
fields. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
of any country depends upon a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are employed
in that county. If a country has a higher employment rate, it
automatically
means employed
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are contributing to the country's wealth in the form of tax
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
with the presence of more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
, which is the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
factor that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
the nation's wealth.
For example
, according to the survey by the National Union, 88% of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
developed countries
have a satisfying
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
than developing nations
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the differences in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
. In my opinion, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
does play a significant role by providing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of income, which is why economic growth should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
importance.

However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
believe that the drawback of prioritizing the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
economy
is that it has deteriorated nature
sharply
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Industries
are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of the nation's wealth, and these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
are causing a huge amount of pollution. When
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
drain harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in rivers and discharge pollutants in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, it pollutes the drinking water and breathable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
.
For instance
, a report by the BBC news states that the
Possible spelling mistake found.
ODO
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemical
factory in Australia, which releases
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
harmful
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
chemicals
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
, has depleted the Ozone layer. This is resulting in health problems such as skin cancer and lung diseases.

In conclusion
, the primary value of having higher economic growth is the fact that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are getting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the more factories and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
industries
, and the downside is that the earth's atmosphere is becoming worse
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
factories are the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
source
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
and water pollution.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay You have been invited to attend an interview for a place studying a course in a college. Unfortunately, because of a previous appointment, you cannot come at the time they wish. Write a letter to the admissions tutor. In your letter• explain your positi v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
331 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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