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TPO 17- Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.4

TPO 17- Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 4
In this century, the huge advancement and improvement in several fields of engineering and science facilitates our lives and changes our world completely. Thus, people should adjust themselves to these developments. When it comes to the different ways of advertising products, controversy surrounds the issue of whether they make products to look more attractive or not? I am of the opinion that most advertisements need to take advantage of the recent technology advancement and some innovative methods to sell their products as many as possible, and the following explanations will further elaborate on this perspective. One of the remarkable aspects of the ongoing discussion which needs a keen contemplation is that technology advancement brings about more opportunities for advertisement makers to imply them in their shows. In essence, they may apply some the audio-visual depictions to make the product more appealing. Take the recent advertisement of a given fast food in our country. They created a beautiful, catchy song and a comic figure to absorb more young people to their hamburgers. In fact, this method of advertisement creatively grasped our youngsters to buy them. Another noticeable aspect of the topic which demands to be reflected is that most of the advertisements use some deceiving methods to get the attention of the people to their products. As a matter of fact, they highlight merits of the right and try to justify their customers that deficiencies of this product are negligible to be considered. It vividly can help the factories and companies to overcome their rivals and obtain more customers and make more profits. Perhaps, the experience of my father' s company can shed more light on the matter. They were losing their capital just because of not having a proper advertisement in comparison to their competitors. In this regard, they let a professional person improve their reputation by changing people' s attitude about their products. Thanks to this method, today, we run a huge company and use our ads on TV successfully. Paradoxically, there are some justifications that advertisement makers should bear this fact on to their mind that trust is their most valuable possession and they have to respect their consumer’s perseverance. As my grandfather always says that if you want to be a great businessman, you should gain your customer' s trust. Therefore, In most of the cases, business holders ought to remind their customer' s that they are important for them and they will never scratch this mutual relationship. Taken all the aspects mentioned above into consideration, I am pretty convinced that there are many reasons to foster the idea of most advertisements make products seem fascinating than they are because they have more facilities today to implement on their depictions, and also they exert some intriguing methods to absorb more people to their product. Meanwhile, there are some negative points like damaging their reputation in the long run.
In this century, the huge advancement and improvement in several fields of engineering and science facilitates our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
our world completely.
Thus
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should adjust themselves to these developments. When it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
comes
to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
ways of advertising
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, controversy surrounds the issue of whether they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
to look more attractive or not? I am of the opinion that most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
need to take advantage of the recent technology advancement and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
innovative
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to sell their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
as possible, and the following explanations will
further
elaborate on this perspective.

One of the remarkable aspects of the ongoing discussion which needs a keen contemplation is that technology advancement brings about more opportunities for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
makers to imply them in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
. In essence, they may apply
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
the audio-visual depictions to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
more appealing. Take the recent
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
food in our country. They created a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
, catchy song and a comic figure to absorb more young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to their hamburgers. In fact, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
creatively
grasped our youngsters to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
them.

Another noticeable aspect of the topic which demands to
be reflected
is that most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
deceiving
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the attention of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. As a matter of fact, they highlight merits of the right and try to justify their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
that deficiencies of this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
are negligible to
be considered
. It
vividly
can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the factories and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
to overcome their rivals and obtain more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
customers
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
more profits. Perhaps, the experience of my
Possible spelling mistake found.
father&
#039; s
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
can shed more light on the matter. They were losing their capital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of not having a proper
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
in comparison
to their competitors. In this regard, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
a professional person
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their reputation by changing
Possible spelling mistake found.
people&
#039; s attitude about their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. Thanks to this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
method
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
, we run a huge
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
our ads on TV
successfully
.

Paradoxically
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
justifications that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisement
makers should bear this fact on to their mind that trust is their most valuable
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
possession and
they
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
respect their consumer’s perseverance. As my grandfather always says that if you want to be a great businessman, you should gain your
Possible spelling mistake found.
customer&
#039; s trust.
Therefore
, In most of the cases, business holders ought to remind their
Possible spelling mistake found.
customer&
#039; s that they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
for
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
them and
they will never scratch this mutual relationship.

Taken all the aspects mentioned above into consideration, I am pretty convinced that there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
reasons to foster the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
idea
of most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
seem
Use "(fascinating)" to make a comparison with this adjective.
fascinating
than they are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have more facilities
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
today
to implement on their depictions, and
also
they exert
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
intriguing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
methods
to absorb more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
. Meanwhile, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
points like damaging their reputation in the long run.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
9Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 17- Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
481 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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