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TPO-17: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.3

TPO-17: Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 3
Nowadays, advertising is one of the most popular ways used by companies make their product attractive to consumers. However, some advertisements are somehow misleading because most of them usually make product seem better than they really are. First of all, the images and videos of advertised products are usually beatified by professional photographers deliberately. With the advanced techniques in photography, the products in the photos will always look good than they are in reality, which, of course will attractive the attention from the consumers very easily. However, sometimes this will disappoint the consumers when they find out the real products do not look as good as they are in the photos. Secondly, the words and languages are used very carefully in the advertisements so that the advantages of the products will be highlighted while some disadvantages can be ignored by the consumers. For example, on an advertisement of TV cable package, it will always say something attractive about price, such as package starting at twenty-nine dollars, which makes people believe it is really cheap. However, when consumers are going to enroll the program, they will be required to order the internet with TV as bundle to active the TV cable package, which will cost them more than twenty nine dollars eventually. Thirdly, some companies will hire celebrities to promote their products in the advertisements, which make a lot of consumers blindly believe that the products are good. However, a lot of celebrities who are representing a product do not use that product at all. For example, consumers may believe in some make up products if those products are represented by beautiful pop stars, because they always look good with their make up on the screen. However, those pop stars do not necessarily use such product for the photograph. This, of course will make the consumers disappoint again once they find out they could not use the products as well as those celebrities do. In summary, I agree that most advisements make product seems much better than they really are, because of the beautified images, careful language and famous celebrities they use in the advisements.
Nowadays, advertising is one of the most popular ways
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
attractive to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
are somehow misleading
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
most of them
usually
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
seem better than they
really
are.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the images and videos of advertised
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
usually
beatified by professional photographers
deliberately
. With the advanced techniques in photography, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the photos will always look
Use "better" to make a comparison with this adjective.
good
than they are in reality, which,
of course
will attractive the attention from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
easily
.
However
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
this will disappoint the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
when they find out the real
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
do not look as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
as they are in the photos.

Secondly
, the words and languages are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
carefully
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that the advantages of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
will
be highlighted
while
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
disadvantages can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
by the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
.
For example
, on an
The usual collocation for "advertisement" is "for" not "of". Did you mean "advertisement for"?
advertisement of
TV cable package, it will always say something attractive about price, such as package starting at twenty-nine dollars, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
makes
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe it is
really
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cheap
.
However
, when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
are going to enroll the program, they will
be required
to order the internet with TV as bundle to active the TV cable package, which will cost them more than
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
twenty nine
dollars
eventually
.

Thirdly
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
will hire
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
to promote their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
advertisements
, which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
blindly
believe that the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
.
However
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
who are representing a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
do not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
at all.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
may believe in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
Did you mean "makes"?
make
up
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
if those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
are represented
by
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
beautiful
pop stars,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they always look
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
good
with their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
up on the screen.
However
, those pop stars do not
necessarily
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
such
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
for the photograph. This,
of course
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
consumers
disappoint again once they find out they could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
as well
as those
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
do.

In summary, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that most
Possible spelling mistake found.
advisements
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
make
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
seems much better than they
really
are,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the beautified images, careful language and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
famous
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
celebrities
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
in the
Possible spelling mistake found.
advisements
.
15Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
43Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
Learning is a treasure that will follow its owner everywhere.
Chinese Proverb

IELTS essay TPO-17: Most advertisements make products seem much better than they really are. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 3

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
354 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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