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TPO 14 - Question 1People enjoy reading many different types of books such as mystery, biography, romance, etc. Of all the different types of books that there are, what type do you most enjoy? Explain why. v.1

TPO 14 - Question 1People enjoy reading many different types of books such as mystery, biography, romance, etc. Of all the different types of books that there are, what type do you most enjoy? Explain why. v. 1
People are becoming more obese in both developed and developing nations. It can be argued that increasing the cost of unhealthy food could help reduce its consumption and curb the health crisis that arises from it. This essay will argue that the problem of obesity can not be solved only by increasing prices of fatty foods. To begin with, people are choosing to eat take out because it is convenient, despite being aware that it is unhealthy. Ordering a meal from fast-food chains such as Taco Bell and McDonald's is extremely convenient. Because many people have multiple jobs and busy scheduled, they choose to purchase it from these restaurants. Therefore, increasing prices at these stores will not convince the public to reduce its consumption. Recent experiments in New York city had shown people continued to buy sodas, even after city government imposed a 10% tax on it. On the other hand, where previously people may only have $50 in disposable income, nowadays, they have $2000. Except poor people who tend to be price sensitive, the majority of middle and upper income group will continue to buy food from the frozen aisle even it becomes expensive. Since price does not play a major role in deciding whether someone decides to opt for unhealthy options or not, people continue to consume it. A study from the University of California highlight that salary of people are increasing by 5% year-over-year accounting for inflation. In conclusion, in modern days, unhealthy food has created a public health crisis and it cannot be solved alone by taxing it. A well rounded approach around public education and making healthier options more accessible could help reduce the effect of unhealthy food.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
are becoming more obese in both developed and developing nations. It can
be argued
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
the cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its consumption and curb the health crisis that arises from it. This essay will argue that the problem of obesity can not
be solved
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
of fatty foods.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are choosing to eat take out
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
it is convenient, despite being aware that it is
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
. Ordering a meal from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-food chains such as Taco Bell and McDonald's is
extremely
convenient.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have multiple jobs and busy scheduled, they choose to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
it from these restaurants.
Therefore
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
prices
at these stores will not convince the public to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
its consumption. Recent experiments in
If the term is a proper noun, use initial capitals.
New York city
had shown
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continued to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
sodas, even after city
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
imposed a 10% tax on it.

On the other hand
, where previously
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
have $50 in disposable income, nowadays, they have $2000. Except poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
who tend to be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
sensitive, the majority of middle and upper income group will continue to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
from the frozen aisle even it becomes expensive. Since
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
price
does not play a major role in deciding whether someone decides to opt for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
options or not,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
continue to consume it. A study from the University of California highlight that salary of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
increasing
by 5% year-over-year accounting for inflation.

In conclusion
, in modern days,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
has created a public health crisis and it cannot
be solved
alone by taxing it. A
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well rounded
approach around public education and making healthier options more accessible could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
the effect of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
unhealthy
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
food
.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes
The man who does not know other languages, unless he is a man of genius, necessarily has deficiencies in his ideas.
Victor Hugo

IELTS essay TPO 14 - Question 1People enjoy reading many different types of books such as mystery, biography, romance, etc. Of all the different types of books that there are, what type do you most enjoy? Explain why. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
283 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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