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Bar chart: Fiction book sales, 2006 – 2010 (young adult, classics, mystery, romance and science and fantasy) v.1

Bar chart: Fiction book sales, 2006 – 2010 (young adult, classics, mystery, romance and science and fantasy) v. 1
In modern life, a great number of people are constantly seeking jobs and studying opportunities or to experience a totally different life outside the border of their homeland. Some assert that this phenomenon could bring about several social and real-life issues to the foreign inhabitants due to the fact that they are required to speak a second language according to the host country. Personally, I agree with the statement, however, I would like to suggest that people should see these hindrances as opportunities to improve themselves. In the first place, dwellers living in a foreign nation might have to experience a number of social and realistic scenarios. Firstly, external residents might not be well-aware of the social norms of the local area with regards to prohibited terms and expressions. For example, the original impolite form of the N-word is considered extremely offensive to black people. Hence, if one does not realize how insulting the word's meaning is, they might have to face the outraged black people when speaking in front of them. Secondly, language barrier could result in difficulty in real-life situation, hindering the effectiveness of communication. A noticeable example is that a person going shopping at a local store, especially if he is not fluent in the host country’s language, he might encounter countless of obstacles in making the cashier understand what he wants to purchase. On the other hand, these adversities should be regarded as lessons of life for settlers. By violating locally social norms, people will be likely not to make these mistakes again in the future and they have already obtained for themselves new cultural lessons in a hard way. In addition, settling in a foreign country is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for eager language learners as they will be able to sharpen their language-related skills via daily conversations with the native. Lastly, non-native dwellers should be active and flexible and consistently keep seeking helps from the local in order to have a trouble-free life aboard. In conclusion, it is true that social and practical issues could arise when immigrating to another country. However, there exists a wide range of methods that can tackle the existing difficulties.
In modern
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
, a great number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are
constantly
seeking jobs and studying opportunities or to experience a
totally
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
outside the border of their homeland.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
assert that this phenomenon could bring about several
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and real-life issues to the foreign inhabitants due to the fact that they
are required
to speak a second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
according to the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
Personally
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement,
however
, I would like to suggest that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
these hindrances as opportunities to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
themselves.

In the
first
place, dwellers living in a foreign nation
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
experience a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and realistic scenarios.
Firstly
, external residents
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
not be well-aware of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
norms of the local area
Use "in regard to", "with regard to", or more simply "regarding".
with regards to
prohibited terms and expressions.
For example
, the original impolite form of the N-word
is considered
extremely
offensive to black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
.
Hence
, if one does not realize how insulting the word's meaning is, they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
face the outraged black
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
when speaking in front of them.
Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
barrier could result in difficulty in real-life situation, hindering the effectiveness of communication. A noticeable example is that a person going shopping at a local store,
especially
if he is not fluent in the host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
, he
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
might
encounter
Do not use "of" after "countless". Did you mean "countless obstacles"?
countless of obstacles
in making the cashier understand what he wants to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
purchase
.

On the other hand
, these adversities should
be regarded
as lessons of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
for settlers. By violating
locally
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
norms,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
will be likely not to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
these mistakes again in the
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
future and
they have already obtained for themselves new cultural lessons in a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
way.
In addition
, settling in a foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is a once-in-a-lifetime chance for eager
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
language
learners as they will be able to sharpen their language-related
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
via daily conversations with the native.
Lastly
, non-native dwellers should be active and flexible and
consistently
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
keep
seeking
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
from the local in order to have a trouble-free
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
aboard.

In conclusion
, it is true that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
and practical issues could arise when immigrating to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
.
However
, there exists a wide range of methods that can tackle the existing difficulties.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Bar chart: Fiction book sales, 2006 – 2010 (young adult, classics, mystery, romance and science and fantasy) v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
360 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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