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TPO-14: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.4

TPO-14: People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 4
With the development of transportation system and the overall improved life quality of people around the world, travelling becomes a popular leisure event. The question of where to travel also becomes a hot debate among the society. Some people believe that they could benefit more from travelling in their own country than from travelling to foreign countries, while the other hold the opposite opinion. As far as I am concerned, I think travelling to foreign countries will bring us more benefits. First of all, by travelling to foreign countries, we could not only meet different people from different backgrounds, but also experience the different culture that we have never experienced before. By meeting different people from different countries, we have chance to know more about the different values of other cultures, so that we could compare and think more deeper about our own one. Indeed, I think this is a good way to broaden our horizon and let ourselves being more open-minded. Moreover, traveling to foreign countries could improve one' s independence and communication skills. Travelling in foreign countries could be a big challenge to most people because of the language barrier and unfamiliar environment. In order to survive from the trips in foreign countries, travelers must try very hard to learn the foreign language and to communicate with the local people, so that they won' t get lost or do the wrong things under the unfamiliar environment. Also, because travelers in foreign countries are all by themselves, without the support of families and friend, they must learn to be independent. Last but not least, travelling in foreign countries can surprise us by letting us know what ourselves are capable of. Travelling within our own country is like travelling within our comfort zone, if we never jump out of the comfort zone, we would never know our potential skills and what achievement we could make in our lives. In summary, I think people benefit more from travelling to foreign countries than travelling in their own country because of the special experience they could get from the trips, the chance to improve one' s independence and communications skills, and the possibility to explore one' s potential skills.
With the development of transportation system and the
overall
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improved
life quality of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
around the world,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
becomes a popular leisure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
event
. The question of where to travel
also
becomes a hot debate among the society.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that they could benefit more from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
than from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, while the other hold the opposite opinion. As far as I
am concerned
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
will bring us more benefits.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, we could not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
meet
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
backgrounds,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
experience the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
culture that we have never experienced
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
. By meeting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, we have chance to know more about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
different
values of other cultures,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that we could compare and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
Use only "deeper" (without 'more') when you use the comparative.
more deeper
about our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
one.
Indeed
, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
this is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
way to broaden our horizon and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
ourselves being more open-minded.

Moreover
, traveling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s independence and communication
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could be a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
challenge to most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the language barrier and unfamiliar environment. In order to survive from the trips in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
, travelers
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
try
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to learn the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
language and to communicate with the local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that they
Possible spelling mistake found.
won&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
lost or do the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
things under the unfamiliar environment.
Also
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
travelers in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are all by themselves, without the support of families and friend, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
learn to be independent.

Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
can surprise us by letting us know what ourselves are capable of.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
within our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
is like
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
within our comfort zone, if we never jump out of the comfort zone, we would never know our potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
and what achievement we could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
in our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
.

In summary, I
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
think
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
benefit more from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
than
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
in their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of the special experience they could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
from the trips, the chance to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s independence and communications
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
, and the possibility to explore
Possible spelling mistake found.
one&
#039; s potential
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
skills
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
55Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO-14: People benefit more from traveling in their own country than from traveling to foreign countries. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 4

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
366 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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