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Some people think schools should only teach students academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. Discuss both views and give your own opinion. v.2

Some people think schools should only teach students academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. v. 2
A debate on whether schools should only teach students academic knowledge rages on. Some people contend that students should only receive education of academic subjects, while others opine that students should also learn to distinguish right from wrong in school. In my own perspective, schools need to find a balance to both improve students' academic performance as well as other moral principles. It is understandable that some people wish their children to receive instructions only in academic areas. Under the fierce competition of modern society, only by mastering more knowledge, students can be well prepared for future employment. For example, schools teach students to learn English when they are in primary school. After learning English for more than 10 years, some students with excellent skills in English may have the chance to work abroad, and thereby improving their living standards dramatically. However, others argue that students' ability to discriminate between right and wrong should also be enhanced in school. Students normally spend the most important time in school. During this time period, most students will form their styles of doing things. If they do not receive proper education to guide them, they may develop unacceptable behaviours, such as cheating in exams, bullying at peers. Such behaviours have detrimental effect on students' growth. From my point of view, both academic and moral education are vital to students' future development. Without comprehensive knowledge towards different subjects, such as English, Math, students cannot be well qualified to take the challenge of professional work. Also, students who are incapable of doing the right things are not able to develop socially acceptable behaviours. Therefore, I insist that schools should not underestimate the importance of each area and try to reach a balance between students' academic work and other moral norms.
A debate on whether
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
knowledge rages on.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
contend that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
receive education of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
subjects, while others opine that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
should
also
learn to distinguish right from
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. In my
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
perspective,
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schools
need to find a balance to both
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
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students&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
performance
Probable usage error. Use "and" after 'both'.
as well as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
moral principles.

It is understandable that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
wish their children to receive instructions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
areas. Under the fierce competition of modern society,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
only
by mastering more knowledge,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can be
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well prepared
for future employment.
For example
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
teach
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to learn English when they are in primary
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. After learning English for more than 10 years,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
with excellent
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in English may have the chance to work abroad, and thereby improving their living standards
dramatically
.

However
, others argue that
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; ability to discriminate between right and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
should
also
be enhanced
in
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school
.
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Students
normally
spend the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
time in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
school
. During this time period, most
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
will form their styles of doing things. If they do not receive proper education to guide them, they may develop unacceptable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
, such as cheating in exams, bullying at peers. Such
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
have detrimental effect on
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; growth.

From my point of view, both
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
and moral education are vital to
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039; future development. Without comprehensive knowledge towards
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
subjects, such as English, Math,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
cannot be well qualified to take the challenge of professional work.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
who are incapable of doing the right things are not able to develop
socially
acceptable
Possible spelling mistake. 'behaviours' is British English.
behaviours
.
Therefore
, I insist that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
schools
should not underestimate the importance of each area and try to reach a balance between
Possible spelling mistake found.
students&
#039;
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
academic
work and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
moral norms.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10Mistakes

IELTS essay Some people think schools should only teach students academic subjects. Others think schools should also teach students how to discriminate between right and wrong. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
295 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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