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TPO 11 – task 2: Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think that access to much information creates problems. v.2

TPO 11 – task 2: Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think that access to much information creates problems. v. 2
That the internet comprises a major part of our life is an undeniable fact. Today' s life without the internet is very difficult to imagine. Thanks to the fast-lightening pace of the internet and the computers, almost everything nowadays is done in an entirely new way. Although some people agree that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information, some others disagree. From my perspective, I agree with the statement and here are my justifications. To begin with, the internet assists the students in their studying significantly. A considerable amount of information is available for students on the internet, which can be used very fast and efficient. By holding a tablet or a phone, the whole world is at their fingertips. For example, the students can read books online using Google Books or use online encyclopedias for basic information about a topic. Owing to the internet, the students, instead of going to the libraries and searching for a specific book for hours, can find it readily using the internet and the computers. To be more impartial, some persons may assert that access to much information may confuse the students. The students might be overwhelmed; hence, they might have serious problems in decision-making during their research. Beside the above-mentioned reason, the internet is beneficial for industries and research institutes offering them innovative and facile ways for doing their research, communicating with others, and expanding their market. With the advent of internet, information is more available for the researchers. Moreover, the managers can communicate with their employees and their customers more efficiently. Instead of traveling a large distance to attend a meeting, they can conduct online conferences using social networks such as the Skype. What' s more, businesspersons can expand their market by advertisements on the internet. With the aid of internet, companies can introduce their products and the society will be more informed of the new-brand products. This would be useful for both the companies and the customers. Finally, E-commerce and online shopping is another advantage of internet. People can search for their favorite product on the internet, check and compare the prices, receive feedback from other customers about the products, and buy the product conveniently. In order not to overgeneralize what was alluded to, E-commerce might make youngsters more demanding and lead to an extravagant lifestyle; however, its trivial drawback can be overlooked by its substantial advantages. All in all, although some sophisticated people may prove the otherwise, I still agree that internet provides individuals with countless valuable information. Taking a meticulous observation on the mass of evidences, one can perceive that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
That the internet comprises a major part of our life is an undeniable fact.
Possible spelling mistake found.
Today&
#039; s life without the internet is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to imagine. Thanks to the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
-lightening pace of the internet and the computers, almost everything nowadays
is done
in an
entirely
new way. Although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that the internet provides
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
others disagree. From my perspective, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with the statement and here are my justifications.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, the internet assists the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in their studying
significantly
. A considerable amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is available for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
on the internet, which can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
fast
and efficient. By holding a tablet or a phone, the whole world is at their fingertips.
For example
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
can read books
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
using Google Books or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
encyclopedias for basic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
about a topic. Owing to the internet, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
,
instead
of going to the libraries and searching for a specific book for hours, can find it
readily
using the internet and the computers. To be more impartial,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
persons may assert that access to much
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
may confuse the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
might
be overwhelmed
;
hence
, they might have serious problems in decision-making during their research.

Beside the above-mentioned reason, the internet is beneficial for industries and research institutes offering them innovative and facile ways for doing their research, communicating with others, and expanding their market. With the advent of internet,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
is more available for the researchers.
Moreover
, the managers can communicate with their employees and their customers more
efficiently
.
Instead
of traveling a large distance to attend a meeting, they can conduct
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
conferences using social networks such as the Skype.
Possible spelling mistake found.
What&
#039; s more, businesspersons can expand their market by advertisements on the internet. With the aid of internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
can introduce their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
and the society will be more informed of the new-brand
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
. This would be useful for both the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and the customers.

Finally
, E-commerce and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
online
shopping is another advantage of internet.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
can search for their favorite
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
on the internet,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
and compare the prices, receive feedback from other customers about the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
products
, and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
buy
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
product
conveniently
. In order not to overgeneralize what
was alluded
to, E-commerce might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
youngsters more demanding and lead to an extravagant lifestyle;
however
, its trivial drawback can
be overlooked
by its substantial advantages.

All in all, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sophisticated
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
may prove the
otherwise
, I
still
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that internet provides individuals with countless valuable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
information
. Taking a meticulous observation on the mass of evidences, one can perceive that the advantages far outweigh the disadvantages.
10Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
25Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 11 – task 2: Some people say that the internet provides people with a lot of valuable information. Others think that access to much information creates problems. v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
440 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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