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Some people are of the view that students should keep a gap of one year without study between school and university. While others think it affects learning. Discuss both viewpoints and give your opinion by giving relevant reasons and examples. v.1

Some people are of the view that students should keep a gap of one year without study between school and university. While others think it affects learning. v. 1
Nowadays, many young people take a year off for travel or job before commencing with their tertiary education. Some section of the society is in favour of this phenomenon whereas others believe it as a disruptive process. This essay will elucidate both views. I strenuously reckon that youngsters should continue with their study which would not only benefit them in the long run but also help them to secure good jobs in the future. On the one hand, those who favour taking break immediately after high school, believe that students gain valuable experiences in life when they travel and explore the world. That is to say, whenever the youths face any kind of problems they learn to deal with it. This not only gives them the experience to deal with tough situations later in life but also gives them confidence. For instance, a recent survey conducted by the Times group states that nearly 45 per cent of the students prefer to take a break and gain work experience before they start with their graduation. Additionally, a year break will give the student a chance to indulge in his or her desired activities. Understandably, the schedule in some high schools consumes most of the students time, which could have been spent on relaxation or hobbies. On the other side of the argument, many students returning from a break in academic study find it very difficult to adjust to university life, give up their ideas of higher education altogether, or waste their gap year in worthless activities. They also might get attracted to the lavish lifestyles and prefer to adopt obnoxious habits. For example, almost 20 per cent of university students in the United States of America find it hard to clear their degrees due to the lack of concentration. Secondly, it is observed that many of these youngsters when becoming financially independent do not prefer to join the university back. Therefore, this greediness among them makes them work further in life which ultimately becomes an obstacle in their career. To conclude, albeit year gap can be considered as an important aspect for the students, I firmly opine that the drawbacks such as inclination towards bad habits and even discontinuation of studying should also be kept in mind.
Nowadays,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
off for travel or job
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
commencing with their tertiary education.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
section of the society is in
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
of this phenomenon whereas others believe it as a disruptive process. This essay will elucidate both views. I
strenuously
reckon that youngsters should continue with their study which would not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
benefit them in the long run
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
them to secure
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
jobs in the future.

On the one hand, those who
Possible spelling mistake. 'favour' is British English.
favour
taking
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
immediately after high school, believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
gain valuable experiences in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
when they travel and explore the world.
That is
to say, whenever the youths face any kind of problems they learn to deal with it. This not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
them the experience to deal with tough situations later in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
gives
them confidence.
For instance
, a recent survey conducted by the Times group states that
nearly
45 per cent of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
prefer to take a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
and gain work experience
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
start
with their graduation.
Additionally
, a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
will
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
a chance to indulge in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
his or her
desired activities.
Understandably
, the schedule in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
high schools consumes most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
time, which could have
been spent
on relaxation or hobbies.

On the other side of the argument,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
returning from a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
break
in academic study find it
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult to adjust to university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
give
up their
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
of higher education altogether, or waste their gap
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
in worthless activities. They
also
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
attracted to the lavish lifestyles and prefer to adopt obnoxious habits.
For example
, almost 20 per cent of university
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
in the United States of America find it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
hard
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
their degrees due to the lack of concentration.
Secondly
, it
is observed
that
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
of these youngsters when becoming
financially
independent do not prefer to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the university back.
Therefore
, this greediness among them
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
them work
further
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
life
which
ultimately
becomes an obstacle in their career.

To conclude
, albeit
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
year
gap can
be considered
as an
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
aspect for the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, I
firmly
opine that the drawbacks such as inclination towards
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
habits and even discontinuation of studying should
also
be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
kept
in mind.
16Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
23Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
I love commuting between languages just like I love commuting between cultures and cities.
Elif Safak

IELTS essay Some people are of the view that students should keep a gap of one year without study between school and university. While others think it affects learning. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
376 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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