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TPO 1 _ Independent TaskDo you agree or disagree with the following statement? At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and ex v.2

TPO 1 _ Independent Task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and ex v. 2
Some people claim that universities and colleges should not pay so much attention to sports and social activities and instead they must prioritize classes and libraries in financial support. I am of the opinion that sports and social activities play a significant role in a student’s life. Should people realize the advantages of these activities in the future of the students, they will ponder over it much more scrupulously. I will delve into the most important reasons to illustrate my viewpoint in the following paragraphs. To begin with, it is axiomatic that students need social skills in their future. In other words skills such as working in a team and handling a dramatic situation could be obtained through social activities and sports. My own experience is a good example of this. Back in the college years, we were trying to perform a theater and a few days before the opening night one of the actresses got sick. We were disappointed but we could handle the situation by team work. Thus, nobody could overlook the fact that on numerous occasions sports and social activities lead to better social skills. The second reason why I advocate this point of view lies in the fact that focusing only on studying is not logical. That is to say, even enthusiastic students get bored from classes and libraries and they need to have something fun to do. To elucidate, during the exams, a little basketball would help to clear the students’ minds. So sports and social activities would help student to add some variety to their life on campus. The last but not the least reason supporting my perspective would be the disputable fact that universities and colleges need athletic and social activities to improve their national ranking. As you know these activities has an undeniable effect on the rank which university or college has. In fact I believe that universities and colleges need these sort of activities as much as students. To make a long story short, all the aforementioned reasons lead us to the conclusion that sports and social activities are as important as classes and libraries. This is my deep belief that they must get equal financial support. But that was the story in a nutshell; actually there are some other reasons and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above. All in all, it is highly recommended that universities and colleges must provide their students sport facilities and social activity centers to prepare them better for the future.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
claim that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges should not pay
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
much attention to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
instead
they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
prioritize classes and libraries in financial support. I am of the opinion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
play a significant role in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student’s
life. Should
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
realize the advantages of these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
in the future of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
, they will ponder over it much more
scrupulously
. I will delve into the most
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
to illustrate my viewpoint in the following paragraphs.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with, it is axiomatic that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
in their future.
In other words
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
such as working in a team and handling a dramatic situation could
be obtained
through
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
. My
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
own
experience is a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
example of this. Back in the college years, we were trying to perform a theater and a few days
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the opening night one of the actresses
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
sick. We
were disappointed
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we could handle the situation by team work.
Thus
, nobody could overlook the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that on numerous occasions
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
lead to better
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
skills
.

The second
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
why I advocate this point of view lies in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that focusing
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
on studying is not logical.
That is
to say, even enthusiastic
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
bored from classes and
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
libraries and
they
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
to have something fun to do. To elucidate, during the exams, a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
little
basketball would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
clear
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students’
minds.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
add
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
variety to their life on campus.

The last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not the least
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reason
supporting my perspective would be the disputable
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fact
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
athletic and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their national ranking. As you know these
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
has an undeniable effect on the rank which
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
university
or college has. In
The comma is probably missing here: "fact, I".
fact I
believe that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
need
Did you mean "this sort" or "these sorts"?
these sort
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
as much as students.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
a long story short, all the aforementioned
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
lead us to the conclusion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sports
and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activities
are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
as classes and libraries. This is my deep belief that they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
equal financial support.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
that was the story in a nutshell; actually there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
reasons
and examples, challenging the claim, which are not mentioned above. All in all, it is
highly
recommended that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
universities
and colleges
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
provide their
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
sport
facilities and
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
social
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
activity
centers to prepare them better for the future.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
53Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
4Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 1 _ Independent Task At universities and colleges, sports and social activities are just as important as classes and libraries and should receive equal financial support. Use specific reasons and ex v. 2

Essay
  American English
5 paragraphs
418 words
5.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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