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TPO 09 Do you agree or disagree with the following statement? Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v.2

TPO 09 Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2
As everything in life is like a coin that has two different sides, people must weight pros and cons before jumping to conclusions. After all, each and every question or topic requires careful deliberation in that there are always multiple variables to a truth. Some people believe that the downside of this advancement of technology is that children will be less creative compared to our ancestors. In my humble opinion, I definitely agree that with the birth modern day advancement creativity of our young generation will be at risk. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay. First of all, the majority of individuals would agree to the notion that technology has become the modern era which means variety of products are invented to make our lives easier such as computer, cellphone, internet. In addition to this, children mostly used their personal laptop to create their homework, project, research paper which is more convenient and less time consuming. Furthermore, with the use of computer and Internet everything they need is within the click of a button. In other words, they will not strive enough or think harder to get the result done, so, they become less creative. For example, my friend Anna has an art project what she did was she just google the topic given and just printed the image she found on the internet and put it on a frame. The result of this, Anna failed on her project due to she didn' t make an effort to excel on her art class. Technology makes individuals lazy and unimaginative which can be detrimental to the well being of the children. Secondly, In the past there are no gadgets available for them to use. Folks that time tends to do their job without the help of technology. Researching for projects and knowing simple information is very difficult at their genre. Everything needs to be done manually, if you need to study the only option for them is with the help of textbooks. For instance, my mother Josie always tells us when she was on her elementary years, few resources are available on their school library and she has no choice but to utilize what they have. Mom has school project in Science and must do a life size volcano, she uses her knowledge and be creative enough to actually create a 3d version of Mayon Volcano, she put a frame of a cone in a middle of the plywood and adorned the cone with crampled pieces of newspaper, also, painted it green with highlight of red in the crater. All in all, people in the past are more creative because they have no choice but to use their brain in order to finish their task at hand. In summation, yes, it' s impossible to provide a complete satisfying answer to an open ended question. Although the jury may be out on this given essay topic, we can come to mutual agreement that technology has negative effects on their well being due to the reasons and details mentioned above.
As everything in life is like a coin that has two
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
sides,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
weight pros and cons
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
jumping to conclusions.
After all
, each and every question or topic requires careful deliberation in that there are always multiple variables to a truth.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
believe that the downside of this advancement of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
is that children will be less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
compared to our ancestors. In my humble opinion, I definitely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
that with the birth modern day advancement creativity of our young generation will be at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
. I feel this way for two main reasons, which I will explore in the following essay.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, the majority of individuals would
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
to the notion that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has become the modern era which means variety of products
are invented
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
our
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
lives
easier such as computer, cellphone, internet.
In addition
to this, children
mostly
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
used
their personal laptop to create their homework,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
, research paper which is more convenient and less
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
time consuming
.
Furthermore
, with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
of computer and Internet everything they need is within the click of a button.
In other words
, they will not strive
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
or
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
harder to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
the result done,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, they become less
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
.
For example
, my friend Anna has an art
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
what she did was she
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
google the topic
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
just
printed the image she found on the internet and put it on a frame. The result of this, Anna failed on her
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
due to she
Possible spelling mistake found.
didn&
#039; t
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
an effort to excel on her art
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
class
.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Technology
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
individuals lazy and unimaginative which can be detrimental to the
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
of the children.

Secondly
, In the past there are no gadgets available for them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
. Folks that time tends to do their job without the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
. Researching for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
projects
and knowing simple information is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
difficult at their genre. Everything needs to
be done
manually
, if you need to study the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
option for them is with the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
of textbooks.
For instance
, my mother Josie always
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tells
us when she was on her elementary years, few resources are available on their school
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
library and
she has no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to utilize what they have. Mom has school
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
project
in Science and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
do a
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
life size
volcano, she
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
uses
her knowledge and be
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
to actually create a 3d version of
Possible spelling mistake found.
Mayon
Volcano, she put a frame of a cone in a middle of the plywood and adorned the cone with
Possible spelling mistake found.
crampled
pieces of newspaper,
also
, painted it green with highlight of red in the crater. All in all,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
in the past are more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
creative
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
they have no choice
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
their brain in order to finish their task at hand.

In summation, yes,
Possible spelling mistake found.
it&
#039; s impossible to provide a complete satisfying answer to an
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
open ended
question. Although the jury may be out on this
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
essay topic, we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
come
to mutual agreement that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
technology
has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
effects on their
This word is normally spelled with hyphen.
well being
due to the reasons and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
mentioned above.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
14Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 09 Technology has made children less creative than they were in the past. Use specific reasons and examples to support your answer. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
517 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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