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TPO 01 - Question 1Talk about a book you have read that was important to you for some reason. Explain why the book was important to you. Give specific details and examples to explain your answer. v.1

TPO 01 - Question 1Talk about a book you have read that was important to you for some reason. Explain why the book was important to you. Give specific details and examples to explain your answer. v. 1
These days, many countries like India and China are having a huge generation of younger adults as compared to older people which leads to the situation of unemployment, poor GDP and similar other problems. But I this has more pros compared to it's cons and let's discuss this in details. First of all, if a state is having a large young adult population, it can be a boon for its progress as human resources are available for industries and government jobs. Also, Young people have new ideas for society and their energy and enthusiasm can bring significant changes to the world. Because of them economy of a nation can be stabilized and relatively more jobs can be created. Most of the people can be self-dependant and can take care of their younger and elders. People have a lot of ideas which helps nation in many ways. On the other hand, a huge number of adults can be a problem for a country, especially developing countries like India where there are not enough jobs. Also, people with no work usually get involved in criminal activities that are harmful to the peace of society. However, people without a job are at risk in a country and this problem should be resolved as soon as possible by the government. To put it in a nutshell, I pen down by saying that, young people are assets to a country, however, older people cannot be ignored as they have more experience and also they have contributed their whole life and experience for their nation.
These days,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India and China are having a huge generation of younger adults as compared to older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
which leads to the situation of unemployment, poor GDP and similar other problems.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
But
I this has more pros compared
Did you mean "to its cons"?
to it's cons
and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
let
's discuss this in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
details
.

This phrase is redundant. Consider using "first".
First of all
, if a state is having a large young adult population, it can be a boon for its progress as human resources are available for industries and
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Also
, Young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
have new
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
for society and their energy and enthusiasm can bring significant
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
changes
to the world.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of them economy of a nation can
be stabilized
and
relatively
more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
can
be created
. Most of the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
can be
Possible spelling mistake found.
self-dependant
and can take care of their younger and elders.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
People
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ideas
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
helps
nation in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
ways.

On the other hand
, a huge number of adults can be a problem for a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
especially
developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
like India where there are not
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
jobs
.
Also
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
with no work
usually
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
involved in criminal activities that are harmful to the peace of society.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
without a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
job
are at
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
risk
in a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
and this problem should
be resolved
as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
soon
as possible by the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
.

To put it in a nutshell, I pen down by saying that, young
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
are assets to a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
,
however
, older
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
cannot be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
ignored
as they have more experience and
also
they have contributed their whole life and experience for their nation.
7Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7Mistakes

IELTS essay TPO 01 - Question 1Talk about a book you have read that was important to you for some reason. Explain why the book was important to you. Give specific details and examples to explain your answer. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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