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Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v.9

Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v. 9
Due to reduction in air fares which provide huge opportunities to humans to commuting in various nations as tourists. However, tourism have uncountable measures like contribute to country’s economy, decrease unemployment, introduce new cultures as well which offers so many benefits to regions in several ways. The main bright side of tourism is that it assist the nations to increase dramatically their economy because a majority of countries fully dependent on tourism. For example, Thailand, Marcuse and Bali are highly depend on tourism and are tourists friendly regions as well. In addition to this, when visitors comes in tourism countries than host nations receive foreign currency which enhances their economy conditions. Moreover, the reason is that commuters pay taxes on living places, foods, goods, transports, medicines and so on facilities which leads to rising income in tourism nations. Furthermore, the another major pros of this perception is that number of visitors visiting in the tourism regions which help regimes to reduce unemployment. Even though, if a vast amount of tourists will be coming in various tourism nations than authorities will need lots of staff to handle them. For instance, in hotel where tourists staying required more employees to provide better services to their customers like that transport agencies, tour guide companies and etcetera also demanding more staff which steady decline unemployment among countries. In other words, the visits of commuters in tourism regions helpful for both to gain profound knowledge about each other’s cultures which attached them with each others. Last but not least, the people not only get culture knowledge but also pay respect to another cultures and build strong relationships. In conclusion, although, air travelling help masses to cover long distances within short time periods. Due to these, lots of nations motivating tourism to earn more wealth so that is why more and more tourist commuting to another countries. Beside that, these aid them to make strong relations with others which spreads positive impact on globe.
Due to reduction in air fares which provide huge opportunities to humans to commuting in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
as
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
.
However
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
have uncountable measures like contribute to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country’s
economy, decrease unemployment, introduce new
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
as well
which offers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
benefits to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
in several ways.

The main bright side of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is that it assist the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to increase
dramatically
their economy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
a majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
fully
dependent on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
.
For example
, Thailand, Marcuse and Bali are
highly
Consider using a past participle here: "depended".
depend
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
and are
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
friendly
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
as well
.
In addition
to this, when visitors
Possible agreement error. You should probably use: "come".
comes
in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
than host
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
receive foreign currency which enhances their economy conditions.
Moreover
, the reason is that commuters pay taxes on living places, foods,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
, transports, medicines and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on facilities which leads to rising income in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
nations.

Furthermore
, the another major pros of this perception is that number of visitors visiting in the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
which
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
regimes to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
unemployment.
Even though
, if a vast amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
will be coming in various
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
than authorities will need lots of staff to handle them.
For instance
, in hotel where
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourists
staying required more employees to provide better services to their customers like that transport agencies, tour guide
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
and etcetera
also
demanding more staff which steady decline unemployment among
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, the visits of commuters in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
helpful for both to gain profound knowledge about each
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other’s
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
which attached them with each
The noun should be probably in the singular form: "other"?
others
. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least, the
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
knowledge
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
pay respect to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
and build strong relationships.

In conclusion
, although, air travelling
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
masses to cover long distances within short time periods. Due to these, lots of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
motivating
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
to earn more wealth
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that is
why more and more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourist
commuting to another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. Beside that, these aid them to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
strong relations with others which spreads
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
impact on globe.
18Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
35Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is encouraged in many countries. Does tourism bring more advantages or disadvantages to a country? v. 9

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
328 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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