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Today more and more students are going to foreign countries to get highly education? Some people think that it is better for students and foreign countries. Do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.2

Today more and more students are going to foreign countries to get highly education? Some people think that it is better for students and foreign countries. v. 2
Nowadays excess rate of youngsters are migrating into overseas as an international student for study. Due to these, a section of society consider that this phenomena not only beneficial for learners to provide better standard of education and job opportunities but also foreign regions to upgrade their economy conditions, source of income as well. However, I strongly accord with this perception. There are multifarious factors to support this prospective and an initial is that a higher quality level of education who offered by international nations are attracting vast majority of students to switch in overseas to gain this. In contrast, the study conditions of undeveloped countries are very poor which never eligible to fulfilling the aspirations of learners. On the other hand, international universities, colleges and schools offer lots of facilities like proficiency in English language, smart classrooms, air-conditioning camps, libraries, computer labs, online exams and many more to fascinate students. The another major benefit for learners is job chances who given by foreign regions after completion of study which assist students to build up their bright future. For example, in India, in Kerala a huge percentage of young people are working now in advance nations such as America, Canada, Australia and etcetera on big positions. Furthermore, moving onto secondary view point it is reality that foreigner students are great source of wealth for overseas countries. The fact is that a drastic increase observe in the amount of learners who are going into international nations and they offered money to advance regions in the foam of their tuition fees, living costs and their expenses. For instance, according to the survey conducted by international press reported that Canada, America, Australia and others countries received 35% part of income from overseas learners. Similarly, money accepted from students assist international nations to enhance their economy situations. Last but not least, international learners pay taxes on study, accommodation, goods and so on which lead to aimelorate foreign countries economy growth dramatically. In conclusion, although, overseas regions are good for younger students for their education and careers but international learners also provide aid to advance countries in a way of money. So it’s not saying wrong that they both depend on each other for getting advantages.
Nowadays excess rate of youngsters are migrating into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
as an
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
student
for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
. Due to these, a section of society consider that
Did you mean "these"?
this
phenomena not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
beneficial for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
to provide better standard of education and job opportunities
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
to upgrade their economy conditions, source of income
as well
.
However
, I
strongly
accord with this perception.

There are multifarious factors to support this prospective and an initial is that a higher quality level of education who offered by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
are attracting
It seems that an article is missing.
vast majority of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to switch in
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
to gain this.
In contrast
, the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
conditions of undeveloped
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
poor which never eligible to fulfilling the aspirations of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
.
On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
universities, colleges and schools offer lots of facilities like proficiency in English language, smart classrooms, air-conditioning camps, libraries, computer labs, online exams and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
more to fascinate
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
. The another major benefit for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
is job chances who
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
given
by foreign
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
after completion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
which assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
to build up their bright future.
For example
, in India, in Kerala a huge percentage of young
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are working
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
in advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
such as America, Canada, Australia and etcetera on
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
positions.

Furthermore
, moving onto secondary view point it is reality that foreigner
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
are great source of wealth for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. The fact is that a drastic increase observe in the amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
who are going into
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
Use a comma before 'and' if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
nations and
they offered money to advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
in the foam of their tuition fees, living costs and their expenses.
For instance
, according to the survey conducted by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
press reported that Canada, America, Australia
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
and others
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
received 35% part of income from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
.
Similarly
, money
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
accepted
from
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
assist
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
nations
to enhance their economy situations. Last
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
not least,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
pay taxes on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
study
, accommodation,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
goods
and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
on which lead to
Possible spelling mistake found.
aimelorate
foreign
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "countries'" or "country's"?
countries
economy growth
dramatically
.

In conclusion
, although,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
overseas
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
regions
are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
for younger
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
students
for their education and careers
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
international
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
learners
also
provide aid to advance
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
in a way of money.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
it’s not saying
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
wrong
that they both depend on each other for getting advantages.
12Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
44Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6Mistakes

IELTS essay Today more and more students are going to foreign countries to get highly education? Some people think that it is better for students and foreign countries. v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
371 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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