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Billions of dollars are being wasted each year in space research. The money could be better used to improve conditions on eart. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement v.2

From the past few decades, Billions of dollars is spending of space exploration. Number of persons saying that, this money can be spent on earth, so that conditions on earth can be better and another kind of persons saying that space exploration is vital. To begin with, space exploration is a waste of money, we are the Humans destroying the earth by digging the earth minerals and earning the money. spending that money on space exploration to find another earth in this space world. We don't know how to protect the earth or how to upgrade the conditions here on the earth. For example, for launching the Mars rocket, it was took 7 billion dollars to NASA but, with this research they didn't get anything about MARS, even NASA don't know on the MARS planet about water is there or not. As a result, all this 7 Billion dollars was a waste of money, with this money they can plant the trees on earth or they can feed the poor people, with the space exploration, EARTH, didn't not receiving anything. However, according to the NASA and ISRO point of view is different, they exploring the space world mainly to find out, is there any life on another planets or not. The reason is, EARTH is receiving different kind of signals from the space so, Humans want to find out any life is there or not. For instance, 4 decades back NASA launched one space shuttle to MOON, to find out water and minerals on the MOON the mission was successful at that time. Thus, NASA got vital information about MOON and recently private space companies also launching rockets like SPACE X, They also trying to get some information about space. In conclusion, in my point of view space research is vital but we are negating our planet, first we need to improve the earth conditions and need to rebuild the nature destroyed by us, then after we can focus on the space exploration.
From the past few decades, Billions of dollars is spending of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
. Number of persons saying that, this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
can
be spent
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
that conditions on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
can be better and another kind of persons saying that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is vital.

To
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
begin
with,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
is a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, we are the Humans destroying the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
by digging the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
minerals and earning the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
.
This sentence does not start with an uppercase letter.
spending
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
another
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
in this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
world. We don't know how to protect the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
or how to upgrade the conditions here on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
.
For example
, for launching the Mars rocket, it was
Consider using either the past participle “taken” or the present participle “taking” here.
took
7 billion dollars to NASA
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
, with this research they didn't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
anything about MARS, even NASA don't know on the MARS planet about water is there or not.
As a result
, all this 7 Billion dollars was a waste of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
, with this
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
they can plant the trees on
Use a comma before ‘or’ if it connects two independent clauses (unless they are closely connected and short).
earth or
they can feed the poor
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
, with the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EARTH
,
You used a negation after a negated contracted verb. Did you mean simply “didn’t”?
didn't not
The auxiliary verb ‘do’ requires the base form of the verb: “receive”
receiving
anything.

However
, according to the NASA and ISRO point of view is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
,
A verb seems to be missing. Did you mean “they’re exploring”, “they are exploring”, or “they were exploring”?
they exploring
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
world
mainly
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
out, is there any life on another planets or not. The reason is,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
EARTH
is receiving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
kind of signals from the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
, Humans want to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
out any life is there or not.
For instance
, 4 decades back NASA launched one
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
shuttle to MOON, to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
find
out water and minerals on the MOON the mission was successful at that time.
Thus
, NASA
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
got
vital information about MOON and recently private
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
companies
also
launching rockets like
Did you mean “SpaceX” (= aerospace company)?
SPACE X
, They
also
trying to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
information about space.

In conclusion
, in my point of view
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
research is vital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
we are negating our planet,
first
we need to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
earth
conditions and need to rebuild the nature
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
destroyed
by us, then after we can focus on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
space
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
exploration
.
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IELTS essay Billions of dollars are being wasted each year on space research. The money could be better used to improve conditions on earth. with this statement?

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
333 words
6.0
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 5.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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