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Please write in support of the following proposition: “Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. ” You should write for an educated, non-specialist audience. Write at least 250 words using your own ideas, knowledge and experience. You should support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v.3

Please write in support of the following proposition: “Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. ” You should write for an educated, non-specialist audience. using your own ideas, knowledge and experience. You should support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 3
The travel industry is getting progressively significant as a wellspring of income to numerous nations. Although tourism has lots of advantages, there are as many drawbacks. One evident benefit of tourism is economic growth, especially in developing countries. In other words, hotels, restaurants, bars, and entertainment facilities all see an immediate influx, giving more income to the country. The rise in demand for the leisure industry also results in them seeking more employees, giving more opportunities to the locals. Another benefit would be that visiting other countries could reduce racism in people’s mind, and develop a deeper understanding of other cultures. By spending time discovering different religions, they will improve their tolerance, which is important in our society. On the other hand, there are obvious disadvantages to travel. Firstly, it can increase the crime rate of a country. Take the city of Paris as an example. Pickpockets always target visitors of the French capital because not only they are seen as easy prey, as they are in unfamiliar territory, but also they carry visible items of wealth. As a result, the city can be seen as less attractive for the public to frequently visit. Secondly, it has bad effects on the environment. A good illustration of this is pollution. When a lot of people visit, they invariably burden the transportation system and contribute to pollution, which impacts air quality. Long-term exposure to polluted air can have permanent effects on health such as developing diseases like asthma, bronchitis, and possibly cancer. To conclude, there are many advantages to travelling like improving tolerance and economic growth. However, the negatives involved can be too damaging to be disregarded.
The travel industry is getting
progressively
significant as a wellspring of income to numerous nations. Although tourism has lots of advantages, there are as
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
drawbacks.

One evident benefit of tourism is economic growth,
especially
in developing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
. In
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
words, hotels, restaurants, bars, and entertainment facilities all
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
an immediate influx, giving more income to the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. The rise in demand for the leisure industry
also
results in them seeking more employees, giving more opportunities to the locals. Another benefit would be that visiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
countries
could
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
racism in
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
’s mind, and develop a deeper understanding of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
cultures. By spending time discovering
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
religions, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
their tolerance, which is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
important
in our society.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are obvious disadvantages to travel.
Firstly
, it can increase the crime rate of a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
country
. Take the city of Paris as an example. Pickpockets always target visitors of the French capital
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
they are
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as easy prey, as they are in unfamiliar territory,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
they carry visible items of wealth.
As a result
, the city can be
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
seen
as less attractive for the public to
frequently
visit.
Secondly
, it has
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
bad
effects on the environment. A
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
illustration of this is pollution. When
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
visit, they
invariably
burden the transportation system and contribute to pollution, which impacts air quality. Long-term exposure to polluted air can have permanent effects on health such as developing diseases like asthma, bronchitis, and
possibly
cancer.

To conclude
, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
advantages to travelling like improving tolerance and economic growth.
However
, the negatives involved can be too damaging to
be disregarded
.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes
One language sets you in a corridor for life. Two languages open every door along the way.
Frank Smith

IELTS essay Please write in support of the following proposition: “Tourism is becoming increasingly important as a source of revenue to many countries but its disadvantages should not be overlooked. ” You should write for an educated, non-specialist audience. using your own ideas, knowledge and experience. You should support your arguments with examples and relevant evidence. v. 3

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
275 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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