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Tourism is an ever growing industry What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society? v.2

Tourism is an ever growing industry What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society? v. 2
An Industry that has been known for its continuous growth is Tourism. Encouraging people to visit an area by the dwellers is always a step in the right direction. This is because, it brings so many good things to the individuals and the community at large. The essay below will shine more light on some of the gains. Firstly, travelling to new places brings some sort of education to a person. It exposes someone to a different environment with unfamiliar cultures, weather, people, food and so many other things, and these bring about learning new stuff from the experiences. For instance, my mother learnt a new recipe for making rice from her trip to China last year, and that made her so happy that she made it for everyone on Christmas eve. That delicious meal would not have been a reality if she had not gone for the visit. More so, good economy is something every community will always rejoice over. Tourism has been known for its boost to any economy. When more people migrate to a place, it creates a need for a growth in the development. This will increase other aspects such as accomodation and food business. Therefore, there will be more jobs which will increase the employment rate of the society. An example is Kenya in Africa that is now one of the richest nations in the Continent because of its interesting tourist attractions. In conclusion, increasing rate at which humans move from one place to another to see new things, has some positive effects on both the people and the community.
An Industry that has
been known
for its continuous growth is Tourism. Encouraging
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to visit an area by the dwellers is always a step in the right direction. This is
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
, it brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
things to the individuals and the community at large. The essay below will shine more light on
If the text is a generality, 'of the' is not necessary. Did you mean "some"?
some of the
gains.

Firstly
, travelling to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
places brings
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
sort of education to a person. It exposes someone to a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
different
environment with unfamiliar cultures, weather,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
, food and
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
other things, and these bring about learning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
stuff from the experiences.
For instance
, my mother
Possible spelling mistake. 'learnt' is British English.
learnt
a
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
recipe for making rice from her trip to China last year, and that made her
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
happy that she made it for everyone on Christmas eve. That delicious meal would not have been a reality if she had not gone for the visit.

More
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
good
economy is something every community will always rejoice over. Tourism has
been known
for its boost to any economy. When more
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
migrate to a place, it creates a need for a growth in the development. This will increase other aspects such as
Possible spelling mistake found.
accomodation
and food business.
Therefore
, there will be more jobs which will increase the employment rate of the society. An example is Kenya in Africa
that is
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
one of the richest nations in the Continent
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of its interesting tourist attractions.

In conclusion
, increasing rate at which humans
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
from one place to another to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
see
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
new
things, has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
positive
effects on both the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
and the community.
8Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
8Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
8Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism is an ever growing industry What benefits do you think tourism brings to individuals and society? v. 2

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
265 words
8
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 8.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 8.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 8.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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