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Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? v.17

Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. with this statement? v. 17
In this world, many people are suffering from serious diseases such as cancer or heart diseases. So healthcare scientists and doctor advised to take regular exercise or eat healthy food. That is the reason why a government spending a large proportion of health budget on health education and preventative measures instead of treatment. I completely agree with this viewpoint. Firstly, I think that spending a huge amount of money on treatment, medicines, lad tests, doctor' fees or discovery of vaccination is not necessary. It will reduce overall medical costs and contribute to the economic development in the country. This extravagance can be easily diminished when health campaigns can encourage people to join the health teaching system in order to improve health to avoid preventable diseases. For example, in Viet Nam, the rate of smoker increasing so the administration appeal to join educational programs, many people won’t attack by the severe sickness. It will save a large amount of money instead of spending on lung cancer. Secondly, spending money on health education is essential. That will help the country to have healthier citizens. They will contribute greatly to economic development. For example, during the COVID 19 pandemic, Europeans did not wear masks to protect themselves lead to the death toll in Europe rapidly increasing and seriously affect the economy. In clusion, I think that the country and individuals can save a large amount of money by diverting from treatment to spending on health education and preventative measures. That has lots of benefits for development. In general, it will make life better.
In this world,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
are suffering from serious diseases such as cancer or heart diseases.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
So
healthcare scientists and doctor advised to take regular exercise or eat healthy food.
That is
the reason why a
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
government
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
a large proportion of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
budget on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education and preventative measures
instead
of treatment. I completely
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
agree
with this viewpoint.

Firstly
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
a huge amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on treatment, medicines, lad
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
tests
, doctor' fees or discovery of vaccination is not necessary. It will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
overall
medical costs and contribute to the economic development in the country. This extravagance can be
easily
diminished when
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
campaigns can encourage
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
teaching system in order to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
to avoid preventable diseases.
For example
, in
Possible spelling mistake found.
Viet
Nam, the rate of smoker increasing
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
so
the administration appeal to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
join
educational programs,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
won’t attack by the severe sickness. It will save a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
instead
of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on lung cancer.

Secondly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education is essential. That will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
the country to have healthier citizens. They will contribute
greatly
to economic development.
For example
, during the
Did you mean "COVID-19" or the alternative spelling "Covid-19" (= coronavirus)?
COVID 19
pandemic, Europeans did not wear masks to protect themselves lead to the death toll in Europe
rapidly
increasing and
seriously
affect the economy.

In
Possible spelling mistake found.
clusion
, I
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that the country and individuals can save a large amount of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
money
by diverting from treatment to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
spending
on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
health
education and preventative measures. That has lots of benefits for development.
In general
, it will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
make
life better.
9Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Prevention is better than cure. Out of a country’s health budget, a large proportion should be diverted from treatment to spending on health education and prevention measures. with this statement? v. 17

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
260 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.0
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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