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Topic 3: the best way to resolve significant environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. To what extent do you agree or disagree? v.1

Topic 3: the best way to resolve significant environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. v. 1
It is true that humans are struggling to find solutions for environment-related issues. While a number of people believe that increasing fuel prices is the most effective one, I completely disagree with that point of view. On the one hand, we have other options that prove to be more persuasive approaches. Firstly, since many alternative sources of energy emerged in recent years, we have many choices which are environmentally friendly to replace fossil fuel. For example, Tesla, the biggest electric vehicle company, shows the world that their cars are not only cleaner for the environment but also more convenient for customers than the conventional ones. That fascinating success of such a young firm makes other automakers, which were founded for decades, to realise that sustainable energy is truly the future of the automotive industry. Secondly, the advancement of technology nowadays allows us to optimise fuel engine, and this means that we can reduce car emissions but still retain the performance. For example, hybrid vehicles, which are more and more widely studied, can convert waste energy into electricity during the operation, and it can replace the main power when needed. On the other hand, there are some reasons why imposing a higher tax on fuel not only is an ineffective strategy but also leads to consequences. Firstly, this policy will give a significant impact on poor people in low development countries, who mostly are farmers or fishermen. Spending too much on fuel, they will use other methods which may harm the environment to increase the revenue and compensate the cost such as using toxic chemical pesticides or overfishing. Secondly, the price is not the main reason for people to cut down on emissions. For example, despite the high cost of fuel, Vietnamese people tend to choose personal vehicles rather than public transportations, which are widely recognised means to improve urban atmosphere effectively. In conclusion, although some people believe that making fuel more expensive is the best way to tackle the environmental crisis, I would argue that we have better choices, which can overcome the side effect of such policy
It is true that humans are struggling to find solutions for environment-related issues. While a number of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that increasing
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
prices is the most effective one, I completely disagree with that point of view.

On the one hand, we have
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
options that prove to be more persuasive approaches.
Firstly
, since
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
alternative sources of energy emerged in recent years, we have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
choices which are
environmentally
friendly to replace fossil
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
.
For example
, Tesla, the biggest electric vehicle
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
company
,
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
shows
the world that their cars are not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
cleaner for the environment
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
more convenient for customers than the conventional ones. That fascinating success of such a young firm
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
automakers, which
were founded
for decades, to
Possible spelling mistake. 'realise' is British English.
realise
that sustainable energy is
truly
the future of the automotive industry.
Secondly
, the advancement of technology nowadays
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
allows
us to
Possible spelling mistake. 'optimise' is British English.
optimise
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
engine, and this means that we can
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
reduce
car emissions
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
still
retain the performance.
For example
, hybrid vehicles, which are more and more
widely
studied, can convert waste energy into electricity during the operation, and it can replace the main power when needed.

On the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
hand, there are
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
reasons why imposing a higher tax on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
not
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
only
is an ineffective strategy
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
also
leads to consequences.
Firstly
, this policy will give a significant impact on poor
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
in low development countries, who
mostly
are farmers or fishermen. Spending too much on
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
, they will
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
other
methods which may harm the environment to increase the revenue and compensate the cost such as using toxic chemical pesticides or overfishing.
Secondly
, the price is not the main reason for
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
cut
down on emissions.
For example
, despite the high cost of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
, Vietnamese
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
tend to choose personal vehicles
rather
than public transportations, which are
widely
Possible spelling mistake. 'recognised' is British English.
recognised
means to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
improve
urban atmosphere
effectively
.

In conclusion
, although
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
people
believe that making
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
fuel
more expensive is the best way to tackle the environmental crisis, I would argue that we have better choices, which can overcome the side effect of such policy
14Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
16Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic 3: the best way to resolve significant environmental problems is to increase the cost of fuel. v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
347 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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