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Tourism has become an important industry. This can damage traditionalculture. Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v.1

Tourism has become an important industry. This can damage traditionalculture. Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v. 1
Swapping important data has been a vital process in our day to day activities. Thus, some people consider that the benefits of sharing information could be countless by contrast, other ones argue that for its significance knowledge should not be openly communicated. This essay focuses on the relevance to exchange research material. Firstly, our technological development is not more than mighty institutions, called universities, doing research, swapping and comparing their results globally. To give an example, the United States spent more than 10 % of its GDP on research by 2018, thus creating roughly 1 million papers which paved the way to build more and more cutting edge technology that can be sold to other countries thereby improving its own economy. On the other hand, knowledge can be quite relevant to think that it is mandatory to protect from rogues, therefore some big companies staved off to create bonds and networks to exchange information. In fact, Windows developed all its platform with private codes, which means someone out from this company can’t propose enhanced updates. By contrast, Linux created its operating system with free codes, enabling people from whatever place making improvements. Thus Linux Company is expected to outnumber Windows’ profit in the next decade. As a conclusion, from my point of view swapping advances and knowledge in whatever field is the only way to evolve, it gives us a huge network where people from any country can double check and compare results, making improvements. Situation than could never be possible when information is not exchanged properly and freely.
Swapping
important
data has been a vital process in our
day to day
activities.
Thus
,
some
people
consider that the benefits of sharing information could be countless by contrast, other ones argue that for its significance knowledge should not be
openly
communicated. This essay focuses on the relevance to exchange research material.

Firstly
, our technological development is not more than mighty institutions, called universities, doing research, swapping and comparing their results globally. To give an example, the United States spent more than 10 % of its GDP on research by 2018,
thus
creating roughly 1 million papers which paved the way to build more and more cutting edge technology that can
be sold
to other countries thereby improving its
own
economy.

On the other hand
, knowledge can be quite relevant to
think
that it is mandatory to protect from rogues,
therefore
some
big
companies
staved off to create bonds and networks to exchange information. In fact, Windows developed all its platform with private codes, which means someone out from this
company
can’t propose enhanced updates. By contrast, Linux created its operating system with free codes, enabling
people
from whatever place making improvements.
Thus
Linux
Company
is
expected
to outnumber Windows’ profit in the
next
decade.

As a conclusion, from my point of view swapping advances and knowledge in whatever field is the
only
way to evolve, it gives us a huge network where
people
from any country can double
check
and compare results, making improvements. Situation than could never be possible when information is not exchanged
properly
and
freely
.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Tourism has become an important industry. This can damage traditionalculture. Do the benefits of tourism outweigh the drawbacks? v. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
259 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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