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Topic: Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. To what extend do you agree or disagree v.3

Topic: Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. v. 3
There is no denying that the death penalty plays an important role in society’s security by stopping the growth of the violent crime. Therefore, some people believe that it is compulsory for limiting the cruelty in society. In my opinion, I totally agree with this opinion and I will give my personal view. The first and most obvious reason is that, death penalty brings the peaceful, well-qualified and safe life to society. Let’s imagine particular dangerous offenders who are not subjected to the death penalty. After they get out of jail, those who have witnessed against them or those who have ever judged they will not have a peaceful life because of anxiety, fear of someday being revenged. As a result, the others will lose faith in the law because they never assist in witnessing of a killer since they afraid of being implicated and possibly killed and the police will face many challenges to maintain the society’s security. = Another reason why I am in favour of keeping death sentence is that it will punish a criminal as an example for others. To be more precise, everybody must think about the consequence when they do anything. Thanks to this, people can raise more awareness and confident before any situations in order not to pay a heavy rise for any inconsiderate action. In conclusion, it can be said that execution contribute to assist the government protect people from dangerous ingredients. My personal view is that government should keep capital punishment, however the capital punishment should be more humanized.
There is no denying that the death penalty plays an
important
role in
society’s
security by stopping the growth of the violent crime.
Therefore
,
some
people
believe that it is compulsory for limiting the cruelty in
society
. In my opinion, I
totally
agree
with this opinion and I will give my personal view.

The
first
and most obvious reason is that, death penalty brings the peaceful, well-qualified and safe life to
society
.
Let
’s imagine particular
dangerous
offenders who are not subjected to the death penalty. After they
get
out of jail, those who have witnessed against them or those who have ever judged they will not have a peaceful life
because
of anxiety, fear of someday
being revenged
.
As a result
, the others will lose faith in the law
because
they never assist in witnessing of a killer since
they afraid
of
being implicated
and
possibly
killed and the police will face
many
challenges to maintain the
society’s
security. =

Another reason why I am in
favour
of keeping death sentence is that it will punish a criminal as an example for others. To be more precise, everybody
must
think
about the consequence when they do anything. Thanks to this,
people
can raise more awareness and confident
before
any situations in order not to pay a heavy rise for any inconsiderate action.

In conclusion
, it can
be said
that execution contribute to assist the
government
protect
people
from
dangerous
ingredients. My personal view is that
government
should
keep
capital punishment,
however
the capital punishment should be more humanized.
6Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
4Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
2Mistakes
The most intimate temper of a people, its deepest soul, is above all in its language.
Jules Michelet

IELTS essay Topic: Without capital punishment our lives are less secure and crimes of violence increase. Capital punishment is essential to control violence in society. v. 3

Essay
  American English
3 paragraphs
258 words
6.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 6.0
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 5.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
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