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Topic The charts show information about the reading habits of UK teenagers Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features Make comparisons where relevant v.1

Topic The charts show information about the reading habits of UK teenagers
Our Earth is smaller now because everyone can go to anywhere on earth, although it's very far from their home by air. To satisfying people's curiosity, they use planes to travel world wide. Because of that, some people think that travelling by air bring back a lot of beneficial and advantageous for human and economic. In contrast, others say that besides the benefits, it makes many negative impacts too. On one hand, we can easily recognize the biggest advantage of air travel. It is saving a lot of time to move with far distance. For example, we are living in Asia and one day, we have to go to America for business purpose, we must go by plane. In addition, it is right to say that travelling by others means of transport are not as convenient and comfortable as by planes or helicopters. On the other hand, travelling by air may be dangerous because of irregular climate and carelessness of human. For example, if the pilots and workers don't check their transport carefully before the departure, it is a very serious problem. Furthermore, not everyone has enough money to use air travel for their journey because its ticket is the most expensive one. Travelling by plane is convenient but in some cases it is not simple. Such as, when we go with a big family consist of 16 members or the procedure at the airport can be knotty and complex with somebody. In conclusion, travelling by air have a lot of pros and cons based on each customer, In my viewpoint, air travel is the best choice to go far.
Our Earth is smaller
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
now
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
everyone can go to anywhere on earth, although it's
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
far from their home by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
. To satisfying
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
's curiosity, they
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
to
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
Did you mean "worldwide"?
world wide
.
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
Because
of that,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
think
that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
bring back
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
beneficial and advantageous for human and economic.
In contrast
, others say that
besides
the benefits, it
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
makes
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts too.

On one hand, we can
easily
recognize the biggest advantage of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
. It is saving
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
time to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
move
with far distance.
For example
, we are living in Asia and one day, we
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
have to
go to America for business purpose, we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
must
go by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
.
In addition
, it is right to say that
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
Apostrophe might be missing. Did you mean "others'" or "other's"?
others
means of transport are not as convenient and comfortable as by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
planes
or helicopters.

On the other hand
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
may be
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
dangerous
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
of irregular climate and carelessness of human.
For example
, if the pilots and workers don't
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
check
their transport
carefully
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
before
the departure, it is a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
very
serious problem.
Furthermore
, not everyone has
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
enough
money to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
use
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
for their journey
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
because
its ticket is the most expensive one.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Travelling
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
plane
is convenient
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
but
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
cases it is not simple. Such as, when we
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
go with
a
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
big
family consist of 16 members or the procedure at the airport can be knotty and complex with somebody.

In conclusion
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travelling
by
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
have
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
pros and cons based on each customer, In my viewpoint,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
air
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
travel
is the best choice to go far.
7.5Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
7.5Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
7.5Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic The charts show information about the reading habits of UK teenagers

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
270 words
7.5
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 7.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 7.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 7.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 7.5
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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