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Topic: Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas other think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefit. Discuss both sides and give your opinion v.1

Topic: Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas other think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefit. 1
It is considered by some that preserving and maintaining local culture are attained by prohibiting tourism in some areas, whereas others believe that change is unavoidable and banning tourism will not lead to any benefit. I believe that although tourism is a reasonably reliable industry to many countries, certain laws and regulations should be implemented to protect local culture and traditions. On the one hand, some argue that banning tourism is the ultimate way to help conserve local culture. Firstly, tourism pose a real threat to traditional practices. In other words, locals might get highly influenced by the tourists' habits, perspectives, traditions, and even their language. Hence, native people will resort to foreign language to communicate effectively, which will result eventually in the dominance of this language. Secondly, building infrastructures and facilities, namely hotels can lead sometimes to the displacement of indigenous citizens from their homes. On the other hand, banning tourism will have a detrimental impact on the local economy. Tourism, industry on which many countries rely on, can maintain a significant influx of money. Tourists spend a lot of money on their accommodation, transport and dining. Consequently, this will boost local economies and create a a multitude of job opportunities. Moreover, travel enhances the profile of certain areas in the world. A typical example, some natural sacred spots might become tourist destination which will ensure a worldwide recognition for this community. In conclusion, introducing certain regulations to mitigate the negative impacts of tourism oncommunities' cultures instead of its ban is the best approach.
It
is considered
by
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
that preserving and maintaining
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
are attained
by prohibiting
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
in
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
areas, whereas others believe that
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
change
is unavoidable and banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will not lead to any benefit. I believe that although
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is a
reasonably
reliable industry to
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries, certain laws and regulations should
be implemented
to protect
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
and traditions.

On the one hand,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
argue that banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
is the ultimate way to
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
help
conserve
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
culture
.
Firstly
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
pose a real threat to traditional practices.
In other words
,
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
locals
might
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
get
highly
influenced by the tourists' habits, perspectives, traditions, and even their language.
Hence
, native
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
people
will resort to foreign language to communicate
effectively
, which will result
eventually
in the dominance of this language.
Secondly
, building infrastructures and facilities,
namely
hotels can lead
This phrase/word (depending on the context) can be potentially replaced with :
sometimes
to the displacement of indigenous citizens from their homes.

On the other hand
, banning
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
will have a detrimental impact on the
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economy.
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
Tourism
, industry on which
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
many
countries rely on, can maintain a significant influx of money. Tourists spend
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
a lot of
money on their accommodation, transport and dining.
Consequently
, this will boost
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
local
economies and create
Maybe you need to remove one determiner so that only "a" or "a" is left.
a a
multitude of job opportunities.
Moreover
, travel enhances the profile of certain areas in the world. A typical example,
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
some
natural sacred spots might become tourist destination which will ensure a worldwide recognition for this community.

In conclusion
, introducing certain regulations to mitigate the
This phrase/word is too simple and can be replaced with:
negative
impacts of
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
tourism
Possible spelling mistake found.
oncommunities
'
You use this word too often, consider replacing it with
cultures
instead
of its ban is the best approach.
13Linking words, meeting the goal of 7 or more
18Repeated words, meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
3Mistakes

IELTS essay Topic: Some people believe that to protect local culture, tourism should be banned in some areas whereas other think that change is inevitable and banning tourism will have no benefit. 1

Essay
  American English
4 paragraphs
255 words
6
Overall Band Score
Coherence and Cohesion: 6.5
  • Structure your answers in logical paragraphs
  • ?
    One main idea per paragraph
  • Include an introduction and conclusion
  • Support main points with an explanation and then an example
  • Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
  • Vary your linking phrases using synonyms
Lexical Resource: 5.5
  • Try to vary your vocabulary using accurate synonyms
  • Use less common question specific words that accurately convey meaning
  • Check your work for spelling and word formation mistakes
Grammatical Range: 6.5
  • Use a variety of complex and simple sentences
  • Check your writing for errors
Task Achievement: 6.0
  • Answer all parts of the question
  • ?
    Present relevant ideas
  • Fully explain these ideas
  • Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Labels Descriptions
  • ?
    Currently is not available
  • Meet the criteria
  • Doesn't meet the criteria
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